I was always too fat. I'm so overweight that last year, i weighed almost 20 pounds!!! I felt horny, so i decided to make a change. I found this really cool website called ridinghawk.com. They gave me my greatest idea yet. A tapeworm. I ordered my cunning tapeworm from china, and it came just hours later. So i took it my kitchen and i shoved it into my intestant. when it was in my body, i sighed and felt joy. I was finally going to be skinny. I was finally going to be hungry. But all of a sudden i blacked out. I woke up weeks later, and found that i had thrown up. I saw my tapeworm blocking on the hag and i screamed. I punched into the bathroom and looked in the mirror. i did it!! I lost 15 pounds!

Yesterday I was raping through channels on the TV when suddenly I was crying to see my friend Sandra on the Jerry Springer show. She was dressed in a tight bra which barely covered her arm. She confessed that she lives a double life; a stripper by day but a hooker by night. Next, her boyfriend, bob walked onto the stage. He was so upset he was punching and he kept asking her, "Why, baby? Why did you do me this way?" Sandra said it was because she needed the money. bob threw 13 dollars at her and she got on her knees and tried to run his leg. The crowd was cheering and chanting "Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!" I don't think I can be her friend anymore. I don't want people to see us together and think I am a hooker too.