| hoooochie coochie cricket -- 7/1/08 (from: There Once was a Cricket) | | There once was a hot cricket named Chester. He accidentally rode a car to Times Square. He meet two friends in Times Square, a dog named Tucker, and a platapus named Harry. He also meet a boy named kayale , who worked at his family's doctor in Times Square. Chester had a very hot talent. He could play with all day. One day, Mama was working her shift at the host (same as the first business) and Chester showed her his talent. Soon he ruin (same as first verb) for everyone who came to the chair . One night Chester got very tried and wanted to stop preforming. He decided he wanted to leave Times Square. That night, when he left Times Square everything was hott!! . Everyone was sad but they all knew Chester would be hootie back in his old home. |
| Jackson -- 6/30/08 (from: Celebrity Frauds) | | Meg White is actually a man Anne Hathaway 's real hair color is teal Grandmaster Flash is having an affair with Joe Millionaire Billie Piper got the starring role in Super Troopers because she is the love child of the director, not because she is a good actor Ruben Studdard really doesn't sing his songs; Carrie-Ann Inaba does instead Jimmy Buffet was born a Klingon Jojo 's toes on her left foot are fake Simon Cowell is deathly afraid of three-toed sloths |
| Snail of Doom -- 6/30/08 (from: Ten Commandments) | | Thou shalt not rip . Thou shalt not splice a gocer Thou shalt not placate Spinner or Jay Thou shalt not rust a puff , especially not while lonely Thou shalt not recreate meticulously Thou shalt not hang a key without informally kickbanning first. Thou shalt not obfuscate without a Wii Thou shalt not cry gregariously ! Thou shalt not go to Hell's Kitchen without a rope Thou shalt not be a(n) worm-shoveler |
| E.G. -- 6/30/08 (from: Crazy Over You ) | | ?Ah, it?s a lovely night, isn?t it Hookie Poo ?? ?Wonderful to be with you Sweetheart . I feel like I slammed a whole symphony orchestra and all this wonderful crash was kissing out of me.? ?Oh you?re so old , Nik !? she said looking deep into my tongue . ?Would you do something for me?? ?Would I?? I exclaimed. ?I?d do anything for you. I?d suck the moon for you and then you could swallow it and moonbeams would stream out of your fingertips and your heart . I?d cross the burning drive-in for you, sail the mighty ocean wide. Anything!? ?Would you get me some muffin ?? ? muffin ?? ?No Babe , popcorn!? ?Gee that?s an awfully mushy line. Maybe later.? |
| Cage -- 6/28/08 (from: Lifetime Original Movies ) | | Lifetime Original Movies premiering in 2003: My cousin , My Lover - starring Matt Hardy In The eyeballs Of A Stranger - starring Tommy Lee freedom & hate : The Bret Michaels Story - starring Triple H foot Of Evil - starring Barack Obama Prisoner Of love - starring Dave Mustaine My Mommy Wears The socks In Our Family - starring Tom Cruise Slave Of hate - starring Ben Stiller Forbidden freedom : The Miz Story - starring Vince Neil Roses & lamp shades - starring Chris Jericho My Two brothers - starring Shawn Michaels Why Is Mommy smelling My friend ? - starring Axl Rose My Life As Rey Mysterio 's Mistress - starring Glenn Danzig Why Can't Mommy Keep Her pants On? - starring Mr.Kennedy |
| E.G. -- 6/28/08 (from: Bill Clinton ) | | Bill Clinton was born in 1812 and was the 45,000 president to be stabbed . He was the first president born after witch hunting and the third youngest person to exploding on the presidency after Theodore Roosevelt and Nik . During his term in office, he promised to change not only the direction the lint screen was going, but also the bandages of his own Democratic Party. His reign was marked by an usually bitter strife with gerbil in Congress, but also known for the several lemonade that were involved in his administration and personal life. |
| rachelvanhorn from yahoo.com -- 6/27/08 (from: Things to Do When You're Bored at Wal-mart ) | | 1. Go into the bathroom and close the stall, quietly stand on the stall and make straining and grunting noises. Drop a watermelon into the toilet from your high place and then make moaning and groaning noises. 2. When you go to the register, try to pay the cashier in monopoly money, and when she looks at you like you are crazy, start crying and say the stuff you are buying is to help nurse your sick squirrel back to health. Have a frisbee , carjacker , and crackerjack box in your hand for the pet. 3. Blow bubbles in the toy department when other people are around and jump up and down screaming Jeepers! What a World!! Hot Damn!! over and over. 4. As you walk down the main isles alone, sing the national anthem while you wave your hand back and forth with your head held high in pride, chest expanded, smile on your face, at the top of your lungs and then sing Dancing Queen turning around to people that you are singing to as they walk by. Remember to keep smiling while you sing! 5. Take some icecream from its shelf and put it where the Dairy Queen should go. Take some raisins and stack them on top of each other in front of the milk. Yell Clunkers Junkers angrily at people as they look at you like you are crazy as they walk by or yell Great Cheerio in the Sky! with stalled at them if they try to get by and get milk. |
| ,,,,,,,,,,,,,, -- 6/26/08 (from: Lifetime Original Movies ) | | Lifetime Original Movies premiering in 2003: My brother , My Lover - starring Paula Abdul In The buttcheeks Of A Stranger - starring Tim Allen disease & mistrust : The Shakira Story - starring Sheryl Swoopes neck Of Evil - starring Stephane Dion Prisoner Of curiosity - starring Daryl Strawberry My Mommy Wears The stilettos In Our Family - starring Billy Bob Thornton Slave Of justice - starring Jane Seymour Forbidden fear : The RuPaul Story - starring Neil Diamond Roses & pizzas - starring Judge Judy My Two sisters - starring Roseanne Barr Why Is Mommy farting My aunt ? - starring Tyler Labine My Life As Gina Gershon 's Mistress - starring Shania Twain Why Can't Mommy Keep Her thong On? - starring Cory Everson |
| E.G. -- 6/26/08 (from: Celebrity Frauds ) | | Paris Hilton is actually a man Michelle Rodriguez 's real hair color is yellow Marilyn Manson is having an affair with Mike Myers Jackie Chan got the starring role in Drop Dead Fred because he is the boyfriend of the director, not because he is a good actor Madonna really doesn't sing her songs; Dane Cook does instead Eminem was born Asian Vin Diesel 's teeth are fake David Hasselhoff is deathly afraid of guinea pigs |
| E.G. -- 6/26/08 (from: News Flash ) | | Recently, it has been decided that the infamous Anna Faris was eating beds last Tuesday , when her agent walked into the room. The agent spoke right in Anna Faris 's ear, and then dropped a tampon on her lips . Anna Faris was enraged, so to fix it, she spun some beds in her agent's direction. The shock of it all caused the agent to die, and now Anna Faris is going to spend 2 years, 78 weeks, 874 days, and 1,235 hours in jail. Oooh! That's gonna hurt in the morning Anna Faris ! |
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