| Christine, the Strawberry Girl -- 6/24/08 (from: Greatest Party! ) | | To Morrissey It's finally the weekend. Steve Coogan and I have dicided to rent The Darjeeling Limited and invite a few girls along. We watched the movie 2,096 times. Every time Siouxsie Sioux Sarah Chalke screamed at least 7 times. It was so gay . When the part where the killer killed Mike Myers we heard a knocking at the door. Peter Murphy went up to see who it was. No one was there when Robert Smith , Kathie Lee Gifford , and Rainn Wilson got scared. I got up and got my baseball bat and flashlight. I got up and went to see who it was. When I got there it was Angus Young . He started beating me up. This went on for 86 hours. John Waters won. From Michael Richards |
| your mom -- 6/24/08 (from: Sing a Christmas Carol! ) | | Up on the housetop armadillos pause, Out jumps wacky wonderful Santa smithers , Down through the nail clippers with lots of unicorns , All for the stupendous ones Christmas joys! CHORUS: pot , pot , pot , rob wouldn't shimmy , pot , pot , pot , rob wouldn't shimmy ,Up on the housetop, glimmer , glimmer , glimmer , down through the nail clippers with grumpy Saint michael . First comes the sock of purple joslyn , Oh, wavy Santa, stride it well, Give her a goose that slaps and shakes , One that can open and gallop thier knees . CHORUS: pot , pot , pot , rob wouldn't shimmy , pot , pot , pot , rob wouldn't shimmy ,Up on the housetop, glimmer , glimmer , glimmer , down through the nail clippers with grumpy Saint michael . Look in the thong of lovely stew , Oh just see the goofy fill! Here is a wrench and lots of kites , A piggy bank that licks and a can that slithers ! CHORUS: pot , pot , pot , rob wouldn't shimmy , pot , pot , pot , rob wouldn't shimmy ,Up on the housetop, glimmer , glimmer , glimmer , down through the nail clippers with grumpy Saint michael |
| Katie and Nadine -- 6/23/08 (from: The Questioning Child ) | | one day, a little wet kid asked his mother, Mommy, whut does bastard mean? and his mother replies, a bastard is a Hair Stylist . Then th' boy asked, Mommy, whut does F**kin' mean? and th' mother replies It means farted . You knows, like scream a chicken . Then, th' boy asked his very hard mother, Mommy, whut does seducin' mean? and his mother replies it means t' spank . Then one day th' hair styled came t'th' doo' and th' kid answered. Whuffo' hello, hair styled Bastard! Daddy's in th' bedroom seducin' my sister, and mommy's in th' kitchen, f**kin' th' chicken ! |
| CLH -- 6/23/08 (from: Celebrity Frauds ) | | NATALIE PORTMAN is actually a man HAYDEN CHRISTENSEN 's real hair color is CHARTREUSE ROBERT CARLYLE is having an affair with RAY PARK TONY STEWART got the starring role in LIVE & LET DIE because HE is the UNCLE of the director, not because HE is a good actor WHITNEY HOUSTON really doesn't sing HER songs; LIAM NEESON does instead EWAN MCGREGOR was born BLACK KARL URBAN 's BUTTCHEEKS are fake TOM JANE is deathly afraid of CHICKS |
| HAHAHA -- 6/23/08 (from: Lifetime Original Movies ) | | Lifetime Original Movies premiering in 2003: My GRAMPA , My Lover - starring WILL SMITH In The ASSCHEEKS Of A Stranger - starring KATIE HOLMES ROAD RASH & VD : The TOM CRUISE Story - starring TOM BRADY RIGHT NUT Of Evil - starring BARACK OBAMA Prisoner Of NECROPHILIA - starring HILLARY CLINTON My Mommy Wears The ASSLESS CHAPS In Our Family - starring MICHAEL JACKSON Slave Of ANAL LEAKAGE - starring BILL CLINTON Forbidden NYMPHOMANIA : The GEORGE W. BUSH Story - starring GEORGE MICHAEL Roses & BEDPANS - starring MORTON DOWNEY JR. My Two UNCLES - starring JERRY SPRINGER Why Is Mommy PISSING My EX HUSBAND ? - starring JOHN MCCAIN My Life As MADONNA 's Mistress - starring JAMES BROWN Why Can't Mommy Keep Her THONG On? - starring TERRELL OWENS |
| Em -- 6/23/08 (from: The Questioning Child ) | | one day, a little silly kid asked his mother, Mommy, what does bastard mean? and his mother replies, a bastard is a vet . Then thuh boy asked, Mommy, what does F**kin' mean? and thuh mother replies It means soon . You know, like runnin' a boar . Then, thuh boy asked his super sunny mother, Mommy, what does seducin' mean? and his mother replies it means to sit in thuh corner . Then one day thuh vet came to thuh door and thuh kid answered. Why hello, vet Bastard! Daddy's in thuh bedroom seducin' my sister, and mommy's in thuh kitchen, f**kin' thuh boar ! |
| Logan Davis -- 6/22/08 (from: Sextown ) | | Trojan the rapist. Trojan the rapist was in a good mood today for it was friday . Every friday Trojan the rapist rode his and/or her hummer down to the local michael jackson house and feasted upon them quite slowly . This behaviour horrified the parents and the Mr.askew,mrs.rowe so bad that they all banded into their anti-rape-and-baby-feasting- tank to stop poor Trojan the rapist. And then a giant dog fell on them and they all died. And his scar never bothered him again. All was well. |
| Chris howard-wood -- 6/22/08 (from: How To Play Touch Football ) | | Find a large salesman to serve as your playing field. Divide players evenly into two toilet in a bierfcase . Have each team decide who will act as its night school The playing field should be werido , with a cream at each end. Anything outside atlanta is out of bounds. Decide whether you?ll play one-hand or 7 - hand touch. Traditionally, teams have four tries to gain chilli . If they do so, they start over with a new set of tighty wighties . Flip a gay to decide which team will begin playing offense. |
| wow this is amuseing -- 6/22/08 (from: substitute teacher part 2) | | it was the end of the day and you had to report to your english class for detention well that will be real fun you said to yourself sarcasticly. when you got to detention the substitute was sitting in the chair by his desk you took a seat in the front and started twiddling your thumbs and other random stuff to amuse yourself for the time being but every time you looked up you could see the sub eying you up and down it was kind of wierd but you enjoyed the attention it made you feel special.the substitute then proceded to close the blinds and lock both the doors in the room you found this a bit strange but didnt do anything about it because you didnt know the procedures for detention .as he dimmed the lights you started you get wet and happy and though about fantacys of you and him in the class room.wow you were getting really scared .he then ordered you to take off your skirt and you quickly agreed he then ripped off your br@ and started to feel your DD breast you could see the lump in his pants as his penis getting . you started to off his shirt and take off his pants while his had traveled up your skirt towards your virgina and he started to rub it as he your virgina you felt yourself getting wetter and wetter. he was way better than all of your past partners which was probubly because he was a older man with experience.he pushed his penis into your virgina and you felt such a 0rgasm it was almost unbearable you guys for hours. he left you panting on the floor wanting more and he left towards the storage closet he came back with a dil*o and shoved it right up your virgina he turned it on the highest setting and slipped your thong back on along with your skirt shirt and br@. he unlocked the door and turned around and told you to keep that there until detention tommorow, ill be waiting and he walked away leaving you there laying on the floor. *************************************** i know this is a rather odd story and might be very borring to you people but im very borred and i dont know what i should do i have no ideas of what i should wright plz e-mail me at snakeluver@hotmail.com with sugestions and rate me high plz =) finger tiger harder |
| Cage -- 6/21/08 (from: Bad Trip ) | | One night I was riding my coat rack it was so I'm tired of drinkin your Kool-Aid! ! When we got back to the the dollar store I took off my sock because I was so ugly , soo ugly that I turned on the microwave . Just hearing that crash,bang various breaky noises made me feel kick I couldn't control myself from going out and throwing my whole Motley Crue over and over again, but just as I was about to run over Nikki Sixx I woke up in a pile of ghetto mac and I realized that it was a big ass concert of Motley Crue I screamed I'm Kevin Nash! ! Then I spit my pants and found a photo of Triple H along with Nyquil PM . That Is why I was Screw you guys! I'm goin home! ! I said aloud that is when mounty came and arrested me... The End??? Or Was IT??? |
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