| FAT ABBOTT -- 2/18/10 (from: Fortune Cookie) | No matter what city you visit, there's bound to be a Chinatown, a Chinese restaurant, and of course, Chinese fortune cookies, which might say:
1. A romantic COUCH POTATO will add interest to your otherwise FATASS life.
2. You will inherit a large sum of FAT ROLLS from a dear, departed FUPA .
3. You are admired by your fellow MCNUGGETS for your ability to DEEP FRY under EAT pressure.
4. Although thoughts weigh HANDICAPPED on your TRIPLE CHIN , you are never without a sense of CHEETOS .
5. You tackle difficult 2 SOUTHWEST SEATS FOR FATTIES with GREASY skill and the confidence of a much older CHEESE FRIES . |
| E.G. -- 2/18/10 (from: Hippies assemble an air conditioner ) | | So, you wanna know how to put together an cake condioner, eh? 1. Take all of the cases out of the box. Set them cake on a crazy cavern . 2. Stick the chase into the cat . When you touch the edges, it should feel coastal . 3. Pop a cupful of coops into Charles Manson 's chin . Then, take them out and put them into the cow . 4. Repeat until it looks chilled enough. 5. Pour a whole car of crazy glue into your air conditioner for safe keeping. THANK-YOU FOR BUYING A(N) Cisco AIR CONDITIONER!!! |
| E.G. -- 2/18/10 (from: Side Effects May Include ) | | Obecalp is what we can safely call a 'wonder' 'drug'! It will help you minimize the chance of a finger attack, cause hair to grow on your face and increase signs of puberty! However, our faithful team of lawyers insists that we post these side effects. Side effects may include farting , vomiting, loss of face cream , decapitation, mind loss, fuzzy femur , fungus on your fete , growth of warts that look like Fiona Apple , an all-around fictional personality, change in moods, feeling really furious all the time, thinking that a flounder goes MOO! and causing the user to shout Forget it! at random intervals. Please consult your doctor before use. |
| E.G. -- 2/18/10 (from: Organic Farming ) | | Organic farming combines many methods to make sure there is minimal banana split erosion, belching , and that the soil stays burnt . Conventional farmers use some of these same methods, but not as much. baby lizards are used to give minerals back to some soil. Using fertilizers can cause quick growth, but can also bite some important burgers such as bolonga , and bacteria. blouses held in place by the burlap sacks of plants are less likely to barter away or erode rather than just bad soil. |
| E.G. -- 2/18/10 (from: Fortune Cookie ) | No matter what city you visit, there's bound to be a Chinatown, a Chinese restaurant, and of course, Chinese fortune cookies, which might say:
1. A romantic toilet plunger will add interest to your otherwise infernal life.
2. You will inherit a large sum of torches from a dear, departed furnace .
3. You are admired by your fellow bums for your ability to burn under sting pressure.
4. Although thoughts weigh gracefully on your palm , you are never without a sense of monster .
5. You tackle difficult flogs with forgetful skill and the confidence of a much older match . |
| its my birthday! -- 2/18/10 (from: Fortune Cookie ) | No matter what city you visit, there's bound to be a Chinatown, a Chinese restaurant, and of course, Chinese fortune cookies, which might say:
1. A romantic watermelon will add interest to your otherwise cancerous life.
2. You will inherit a large sum of chicken tenders from a dear, departed birthday cake .
3. You are admired by your fellow scissors for your ability to sleep under fart pressure.
4. Although thoughts weigh mindlessly on your throat hole , you are never without a sense of weed .
5. You tackle difficult glass pipes with smokey skill and the confidence of a much older cat . |
| dilly -- 2/18/10 (from: Organic Farming ) | | Organic farming combines many methods to make sure there is minimal ice cream cake erosion, cracking , and that the soil stays repulsive . Conventional farmers use some of these same methods, but not as much. snakes are used to give minerals back to some soil. Using fertilizers can cause quick growth, but can also lie some important cheese burgers such as bipper , and bacteria. socks held in place by the scarf of plants are less likely to spray away or erode rather than just depress soil. |
| this is lame -- 2/18/10 (from: Organic Farming ) | | Organic farming combines many methods to make sure there is minimal ice cream cake erosion, cracking , and that the soil stays repulsive . Conventional farmers use some of these same methods, but not as much. snakes are used to give minerals back to some soil. Using fertilizers can cause quick growth, but can also lie some important cheese burgers such as bipper , and bacteria. socks held in place by the scarf of plants are less likely to spray away or erode rather than just depress soil. |
| this is lame -- 2/18/10 (from: Organic Farming ) | | Organic farming combines many methods to make sure there is minimal ice cream cake erosion, cracking , and that the soil stays repulsive . Conventional farmers use some of these same methods, but not as much. snakes are used to give minerals back to some soil. Using fertilizers can cause quick growth, but can also lie some important cheese burgers such as bipper , and bacteria. socks held in place by the scarf of plants are less likely to spray away or erode rather than just depress soil. |
| THE DILL IS A LIE! -- 2/18/10 (from: The Questioning Child ) | | one day, a little discreet kid asked his mother, Mommy, what does bastard mean? and his mother replies, a bastard is a slave trader . Then the boy asked, Mommy, what does F**king mean? and the mother replies It means caress . You know, like slap a donkey . Then, the boy asked his very stupid mother, Mommy, what does seducing mean? and his mother replies it means to kill . Then one day the slave trader came to the door and the kid answered. Why hello, slave trader Bastard! Daddy's in the bedroom seducing my sister, and mommy's in the kitchen, f**king the donkey ! |
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