| meghan -- 2/17/10 (from: The Questioning Child ) | | one day, a little green kid asked his mother, Mommy, what does bastard mean? and his mother replies, a bastard is a good . Then the boy asked, Mommy, what does F**king mean? and the mother replies It means will punch . You know, like peeing a gorilla . Then, the boy asked his very ugly mother, Mommy, what does seducing mean? and his mother replies it means to stay in your room . Then one day the will be torchure came to the door and the kid answered. Why hello, will be mean Bastard! Daddy's in the bedroom seducing my sister, and mommy's in the kitchen, f**king the willl be mean ! |
| DILL -- 2/16/10 (from: Messed-Up Fairytale ) | | One day in a land far far away, further than mahanoy city , there lived a girl named BERNADETTE . BERNADETTE was very prickly and stingy and every man in the kingdom wanted her. Even Somthing ridiculous...like Damien thought of getting into her hair net . One day, after drinking rather heavily for 1313 hours straight, Somthing ridiculous...like Damien subtracted over to BERNADETTE 's house and said to her NOODLES!!! BERNADETTE you are so rampant ! I'd love to take you to white house and kiss you on the belly button and then you would be mine Forever. Well BERNADETTE thought that this was spooky , He was pretty obscene and had a nice playboy mansion , So she agreed. Little did he know BERNADETTE had a secret. So off they went to white house and he did kiss her on the belly button and she was his forever. well that kiss led one thing to another and soon they took of their left bra cup and their right bra cup . FUDGE! ! Somthing ridiculous...like Damien shouted! BERNADETTE had a spleen where her bladder should be. But it was to late she was his forever. The End The moral of the story is don't count your candy wrappers before they tame . |
| SNOOKI -- 2/16/10 (from: Side Effects May Include ) | | Obecalp is what we can safely call a 'wonder' 'drug'! It will help you minimize the chance of a head attack, cause hair to grow on your arm and increase signs of puberty! However, our faithful team of lawyers insists that we post these side effects. Side effects may include running , vomiting, loss of orange juice , decapitation, mind loss, blue eyes , fungus on your cat , growth of warts that look like luis , an all-around pretty personality, change in moods, feeling really sad all the time, thinking that a jose goes MOO! and causing the user to shout wow at random intervals. Please consult your doctor before use. |
| A LIL R AND R -- 2/16/10 (from: Mamma Says...) | | Don't dance too close to the tv, you'll hurt your toenail . A/An oil a day keeps the proctologist away. Eat lots of giraffe soup when you're sick. Don't keep looking like that or your chest hair will freeze like that. Never take tombstones from strangers. No ghost before marriage. Turn the carebears off when you leave the room. Don't let the shoe run while brushing your tits . Don't lick there with the bidet door open, the drumsticks will spoil. Always have on a pair of charming underwear in case you get in an accident. Don't hunt with scissors. Wash your unibrow ! You just wait until your cleave gets home! Take out the egg . You're not going out suct like that, are you? Be back by 6:00 ! Put a sticker under that drink, so it doesn't leave a ring on the poison berry . Eat your danishes ! Quiet down in there before i devour your glutes ! Always remember terds & boom-ombs will hurt my ovaries , but slinkies will never touch me. Shut the door! Were you born in a supermarket ? fight at me while i'm talking to you! |
| Tony and shelly -- 2/16/10 (from: Bad Trip) | | One night I was riding my virginia it was so yooooo!!! ! When we got back to the mall I took off my scarf because I was so robust , soo robust that I turned on the b&d wizard . Just hearing that crunch made me feel fly I couldn't control myself from going out and tubing my whole the clash over and over again, but just as I was about to blow the faggy singer I woke up in a pile of tacos and I realized that it was a inconspicuous concert of the clash I screamed BOOYAH! ! Then I urination my pants and found a photo of shelly along with shrubs . That Is why I was AHHHH! ! I said aloud that is when female body inspector came and arrested me... The End??? Or Was IT??? |
| ERIC CARTMAN BEEEEFCAKE -- 2/15/10 (from: Create-a-Quest) | | After garnering some semblance of knowledge of the great ORGASMIC 5 LB. BOX OF CHEEZITS from a CHEESECAKE FACTORY MENU , CARTMAN embarks for MCDONALDS to search for more clues. After dealing with a BATTERED & FRIED SINGLE DOORWAY , CARTMAN sets trail for the FAT DENNYS of FUPA with new vigor. Upon arrival, they are faced with a GREEN TEA which requires their sincerest efforts to overcome, only to be presented with a GIGANTIC APPLE hence after. They now enter the den of the JILLIAN MICHAELS , which requires their sheer heart and conviction to best. Stricken for breath, they are glad they brought their EXTRA 300 LBS when confronted with the ENORMOUS SALAD , as it makes quick work of the debacle. As they continue forward, their mind is tried by the fierce test of the HUNGRY!!!! NUTRITION LABEL , only to be flanked by fierce BIG BELLY at all sides just following. Mounting the tip of their undertaking, they enter the den of the RICHARD SIMMONS , and fierce battle ensues. As the dastardly creature is bested, they scourge the chest for the mighty ORGASMIC 5 LB. BOX OF CHEEZITS . |
| FAT ABBOTT -- 2/15/10 (from: Hippies assemble an air conditioner) | | So, you wanna know how to put together an OBESE condioner, eh? 1. Take all of the FAT ROLLS out of the box. Set them OBESE on a FLABBY COTTAGE CHEESE THIGHS . 2. Stick the COMFORT FOODS into the FRIED SNICKERS . When you touch the edges, it should feel HUGE . 3. Pop a TON of MOOBS into FAT ALBERT 's FUPA . Then, take them out and put them into the QUADRUPLE CHIN . 4. Repeat until it looks LAZY enough. 5. Pour a whole TOILET of CHEETOS into your air conditioner for safe keeping. THANK-YOU FOR BUYING A(N) FRITO-LAY AIR CONDITIONER!!! |
| fat abbott -- 2/15/10 (from: Original song titles - Changed at the last minute! ) | | 1. Beast of fat as heyll - Rolling Stones 2. Another one bites the fatass - Queen 3. Enter whale man - Metallica 4. Five french fries - Megadeth 5. Welcome to the 600 lb woman's vag - Guns n roses. 6. While my guitar slooooowwwwly gorge - The Beatles 7. Hold my abdominal fat flap - Hootie and the Blowfish 8. Whiskey Bent and 600 lb man's butt bound - Hank Williams Jr. 9. sodas of the Holy - Led Zepplin 10. Mammas dont let your cheesey poofs grow up to be big macs |
| billy bob -- 2/13/10 (from: Create-a-Quest ) | | After garnering some semblance of knowledge of the great beastly boogie board from a bulky , bob the builder embarks for boston to search for more clues. After dealing with a big basket , bob the builder sets trail for the breezy big park of bakersfield with new vigor. Upon arrival, they are faced with a bear which requires their sincerest efforts to overcome, only to be presented with a bashful bridge hence after. They now enter the den of the boss , which requires their sheer heart and conviction to best. Stricken for breath, they are glad they brought their brush when confronted with the blank bank , as it makes quick work of the debacle. As they continue forward, their mind is tried by the fierce test of the banded barbie , only to be flanked by fierce boogeyman at all sides just following. Mounting the tip of their undertaking, they enter the den of the boss , and fierce battle ensues. As the dastardly creature is bested, they scourge the chest for the mighty beastly boogie board . |
| Yorrick the Younger -- 2/11/10 (from: Chocolate Chip Brownies ) | | My yamulke maker gave me the secret recipe to the famous double yellow-bellied dunk, yeast biscuit chip brownies. Start off with a half-cup of dried yacht chair , 2 cups of mashed frozen yellow jackets , 3 cans of yellow frosting. Mix these together in a yorkshire terrier bowl. You will need to stir these ingredients together constantly as the batter may be young and yak spit like. Once thoroughly mixed, go ahead and yawn into a well greased pan and bake at 6 degrees for 27 minutes. Serve hot for the yugoslavian result. |
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