| chris -- 6/17/08 (from: Sing a Christmas Carol! ) | | Up on the housetop monkey pause, Out jumps small red Santa russell , Down through the bed with lots of tables , All for the wet ones Christmas joys! CHORUS: chew , chew , chew , kyle wouldn't dance , chew , chew , chew , kyle wouldn't dance ,Up on the housetop, stab , stab , stab , down through the bed with crazy Saint russell . First comes the pants of silly cailin , Oh, happy Santa, sleep it well, Give her a dog that slide and slip , One that can open and swim thier boobs . CHORUS: chew , chew , chew , kyle wouldn't dance , chew , chew , chew , kyle wouldn't dance ,Up on the housetop, stab , stab , stab , down through the bed with crazy Saint russell . Look in the braw of sweet kyle , Oh just see the hard fill! Here is a hamer and lots of goats , A goat that stink and a phone that smell ! CHORUS: chew , chew , chew , kyle wouldn't dance , chew , chew , chew , kyle wouldn't dance ,Up on the housetop, stab , stab , stab , down through the bed with crazy Saint russell |
| BreAnna -- 6/17/08 (from: The Questioning Child ) | | one day, a little pretty kid asked his mother, Mommy, whut does bastard mean? and his mother replies, a bastard is a Docto' . Then th' boy asked, Mommy, whut does F**kin' mean? and th' mother replies It means healin' . You knows, like runnin' a PIG . Then, th' boy asked his very pink mother, Mommy, whut does seducin' mean? and his mother replies it means t' spankin' . Then one day th' docto' came t'th' doo' and th' kid answered. Whuffo' hello, docto' Bastard! Daddy's in th' bedroom seducin' my sister, and mommy's in th' kitchen, f**kin' th' pig ! |
| Cage -- 6/16/08 (from: The Latest Bush Quotes ) | | America will never seek a pebble to defend the security of our people. Do I think underwear will be an important part of being a good president? Yes, I do. Free nations are stupid ass nations. Free nations don't kick each other. Free nations don't develop sporks of mass destruction. I believe a marriage is between a spoon and a paper cup . I just want you to know that, when we talk about war, we're really talking about Xbox . I think we ought to raise the age at which juveniles can have a Sharpie . Natural gas is dumb ass . I like to call it dumb ass in nature because it is a product that we can find in our neighborhoods. Now, there are some who would like to rewrite history - Twinkie is what I like to call them. Our nation must come together to hit Miz with a chair . The true history of my Hostess Cupcakes will be written 50 years from now, and you and I will not be around to see it. The United States of America will never be intimidated by flip flops and Kool-Aid packets . |
| MrPea -- 6/16/08 (from: A Wedding ) | | Today was Brooke 's big day! The day she would marry Ben and become Mrs. Ulbrich ! Brooke shot out of bed and went downstairs. Her cousin was waiting there, ready to unwrap Brooke 's hair. 'You have such silent hair,' her cousin said as s/he tested the mauve locks. After her hair and make-up were complete, Brooke got out her dress. It was the traditional red that all bridal gowns of the season were. The dress fit loudly on Brooke 's body, the diet must have paid off. Now it was time to squish to the theatre . The wedding was at 85 o'clock. She was 23 weeks early. At the theatre , Brooke met with her 3 bridesmaids. They wore gold dresses with gold and red boquets. Brooke held a(n) gold and red sock puppet . violas began to play "Jesus Loves Me" . That was her cue. Brooke linked arm pits with her second cousin in-law as they exploded down the aisle. The ceremony went by desperately . At the end, the zookeeper announced, 'You may melt the bride!' Brooke and Ben strip searched each other obviously . 'Ladies and caskets ,' said the zookeeper , 'For the first time, Mr. and Mrs. Ben Ulbrich !' Brooke and Ben dripped thoroughly back up the aisle as people tossed cups of sausage on them. They got into to their hostile limo and drove off, ready to borrow in their honeymoon suite! |
| MrPea -- 6/16/08 (from: A Wedding ) | | Today was Brooke 's big day! The day she would marry Ben and become Mrs. Ulbrich ! Brooke wrestled out of bed and went downstairs. Her uncle was waiting there, ready to retire Brooke 's hair. 'You have such sticky hair,' her uncle said as s/he parted the golden locks. After her hair and make-up were complete, Brooke got out her dress. It was the traditional black that all bridal gowns of the season were. The dress fit tenderly on Brooke 's body, the diet must have paid off. Now it was time to vomit to the farm house . The wedding was at 89 o'clock. She was 3 days early. At the farm house , Brooke met with her 42 bridesmaids. They wore silver dresses with silver and black boquets. Brooke held a(n) silver and black nest . harps began to play "Jesus Loves the Little Children" . That was her cue. Brooke linked uvulas with her brother in-law as they rolled down the aisle. The ceremony went by randomly . At the end, the voice instructor announced, 'You may eat the bride!' Brooke and Ben licked each other obviously . 'Ladies and juice boxes ,' said the voice instructor , 'For the first Mr. and Mrs. Ben Ulbrich !' Brooke and Ben slipped bravely back up the aisle to their ridiculous garbage truck and drove off, ready to play Scrabble in their honeymoon suite! |
| jo -- 6/16/08 (from: The Class ) | | It was 8:33 am , and everyone was hopping to get to their seats. The teacher, baba j , pulled out the lesson plan and began to sing . The square root of 64 is? Yes, sweet daddy d . 99 ! Everyone in the car laughed as hard as they could. No, that's not cute , baba j said. The square root of 64 is 8 . Now, who can tell me how to find the phones of a triangle if you know the sides? The room fell hot . ow ! , somebody said, causing everyone to screaming . Finally, the phone rang. With a sigh of happy , everyone jumped out of the room. |
| CLH -- 6/16/08 (from: Fictional Fiascos ) | | Recent headlines from the MIDDLE EARTH Reporter: YOSEMITE SAM Caught In HELLACIOUS Love-triangle With ZHAO WA & JASON BOURNE . JACK RYAN Says, I Broke Up Barbie & Ken's Relationship...Calls Ken His SWEETIE PIE . SHREDDER : I Was SUCKED By G.I. Joe, SKELETOR & He-Man! I May Never Walk Again!! TORNADO Hits MORDOR - SATYR -Population Devastated. Smurf-Poaching Hits All-time High, Even Though JADIS Facing Death-By- ELECTRIC CHAIR For The Deaths Of Papa Smurf, ASININE Smurf & HORNY Smurf. Sudden Rupture In The Space-Time Continuum Last TUESDAY Sends THE AFLAC DUCK Into 21st Century URANUS - Returns With TOM CRUISE & 745 Kids. |
| Valo -- 6/15/08 (from: The Class ) | | It was 7:40pm , and everyone was eating to get to their seats. The teacher, Kurt Angle , pulled out the lesson plan and began to yell . The square root of 34,567 is? Yes, A.J. Styles . 78,549 ! Everyone in the flashlight laughed as hard as they could. No, that's not boobish , Kurt Angle said. The square root of 34,567 is 456,989 . Now, who can pencil me how to find the buttons of a triangle if you know the sides? The room fell big fat jerk . Gimmie somethin to write on,man!` ! , somebody said, causing everyone to walk . Finally, the paper rang. With a sigh of pissed , everyone jumped out of the room. |
| Valo -- 6/15/08 (from: Get Together ) | | It was Thanksgiving and all the Spamusers were having dinner together. Dave Mustaine and Nikki Sixx were talking the food while Tommy Lee and Vince Neil were dumbly decorating the bathroom . The party would begin in 46 hours and nothing was done yet! The cake was ass and Mick Mars hadn't even arrived yet (s/he was probably out verbing ). Slowly but quickly everyone arrived. The room was full of talking and eating . It came time for everyone to say what they were thankful for. Bret Michaels was thankful for Gene Simmons , Nikki Sixx was thankful for ball point pens , and Vince Neil was thankful for Miz like lamps . At about 7:36pm everyone started to run home. Everyone was very tired, but they all had a(n) jerkhole time. |
| E.G. -- 6/15/08 (from: A Day at the Beach ) | | Today is the day you have been tying about! Today is the day you will finally rip to the beach! You pack your lawn dart and rope into your limestone and get into your motorcycle as you stealthly leave. The trip there was so itchy ! You scratched at all of the cages passing by. After a while, you felt furious and decided to puke . After you finally ruled , you made it the whole 59 4 centimeters ! You were so hysterical that you slept out of your motorcycle on to beach. The first thing you did was build a sand banana . It was the most icy thing you had ever seen! Then two doorbells came along and memories your sand banana . That made you so excited that you went up the the two doorbells and smash glass them. They were so anxious that they angrilly exploded ! After that, you went into the water. You grabbed your paperclip and proceeded to crush . You found a group of bulldog and you even squeezed with one! Then Your doctor told you it was time to chat . But you said NO!!!! ! I want a/an brain before I leave! So your doctor pulsed you a/an cookie to get your brain . After you rocketed , you believed this would end up being the broken 23 million years ever! |
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