| E.G. -- 2/4/10 (from: Top-Selling Children's Books ) | | A Is For asinine by Charlie Sheen Kyle And The puny koala Of Barnum & Bailey's Circus by Lady Gaga Fairytales My cousin Taught Me by Madonna Don't Go Into The torture chamber by Dr. Phil Mr. plumber Is My Best Friend by Rob Zombie One, Two bark My Shoe by Chris Rock slimy Japanese Limericks by Mike Myers I Wanna Be A hair stylist When I Grow Up by Angelina Jolie My Two mommies by Sam Wellington Where The airy Things Are by Dane Cook |
| E.G. -- 2/4/10 (from: You Don't Say! ) | | That's the go-cart that broke the camel's elbow Well that went over like a ninja in church He's such a horse's toe I'll go Medieval on your heel licking on thin ice He didn't know whether to rub or go blind, for Pete's sake Purrs like a kangaroo Runs like a well-oiled earring Your mamma wears combat- bras I heard it straight from the horse's back Like a bull in a cage -shop |
| E.G. -- 2/4/10 (from: Baked Potatoes ) | | Baked potatoes are very crusty . Preparing them is very lucid so if you follow these disgusting instructions you will soon have a very childish meal. Step 1. Get a bag of diapers and rip the dirt off. Step 2. sneeze each potatoe well and be sure to interrupt off any juicy spots. Step 3. slam your oven to 27 degrees and impale each potatoe with bunny . Step 4. Place the potatoes on the top cape and spin for 76,856 nano seconds . Setting your Stove stroller is a good idea so that you won't paint about them. Step 5. When they are insane , remove them from the oven with a bar stool . Step 6. The potatoes are now ready to spanked . Unwrap the balloon from them and place them on a plate. Some people like them bitten while other people like them trampled open. Step 7. Top your potatoe with butter and various toppings such as Chedder brownies , pizza , creamy onions, stuffed cream, sandwiches bites and bananas . Baked Potatoes are a very puking meal and are very empty . |
| miranda basinger -- 2/3/10 (from: ALONE AT BAND CAMP ) | | Okay, its your last day of band camp, or so you thought. You walk into the band room and sit with your friends britney , chas , and scoty . You say that you are hapy that band camp is over. britney looks at you and says, *what are you talking about. there are still 4 months left of band camp.* You look at her/him funny and say *no there isn't. there is only 1 days of band camp* Your three friends look at you weird and say *no there is 4 months left.* The next day you walk into the band room and there is nobody there. You think that they are a little late; so you pop a squat in your seat and wait for everyone. While you are waiting you start to hear noises. Behind you there are windows. The blinds are starting to move back and forth. You think there si just a draft. Then you hear someone saying i see you . You almost remember the voice. It sounded like your friend chas . You yell out her/his name. You finally find her/him and give her/him a big smack down. You always remembered that day for some reason but you don't quite remember... |
| Jessica S. -- 2/3/10 (from: Wyoming) | | Vyomingkt has a population uff 69 undt ze schtate song iss Pony . It iss located in ze seductife part uff ze vestern United Schtates. Ze kapital uff Vyomingkt iss Chessica Kity undt ze kurrent Gofernor uff ze Schtate iss Kendall . Vhen in Vyomingkt be sure to fisit Fort Patrick . Ze schtate iss known fur its: oil, Schcience Vingkt , natural gas, korn fart , vheat undt meat . Ze largest kity in Vyomingkt iss Kheyenne mitt a population uff 53,640 Leoprodaun . |
| lolololololololol -- 2/1/10 (from: Baked Potatoes ) | | Baked potatoes are very goofy . Preparing them is very rubbery so if you follow these ignorant instructions you will soon have a very tasty meal. Step 1. Get a bag of skid marks and split the dirt off. Step 2. press each potatoe well and be sure to sprint off any dorky spots. Step 3. glide your oven to 899 degrees and nudge each potatoe with newspaper . Step 4. Place the potatoes on the top call center and trick for 4 days . Setting your Stove TP is a good idea so that you won't change about them. Step 5. When they are gross , remove them from the oven with a sponge . Step 6. The potatoes are now ready to touch . Unwrap the sea bear from them and place them on a plate. Some people like them smacked while other people like them drove open. Step 7. Top your potatoe with butter and various toppings such as Chedder bologna , ice cream , funny onions, wimpy cream, sushi bites and cupcakes . Baked Potatoes are a very inserting meal and are very stupid . |
| yayrotgoifaoirgh -- 2/1/10 (from: Fictional Fiascos ) | | Recent headlines from the Duloc Reporter: Ace Ventura Caught In stupendous Love-triangle With Shrek & Roseanne . Jerry Maguire Says, I Broke Up Barbie & Ken's Relationship...Calls Ken His honeybunch . Archie Bunker : I Was slurped By G.I. Joe, Frank Drebin & He-Man! I May Never Walk Again!! natural gas explosion Hits Atlantis - zombie -Population Devastated. Smurf-Poaching Hits All-time High, Even Though Popeye Facing Death-By- Chinese water torture For The Deaths Of Papa Smurf, horrible Smurf & snarky Smurf. Sudden Rupture In The Space-Time Continuum Last Wednesday Sends Walter Into 21st Century Oklahoma - Returns With Paris Hilton & 2 Kids. |
| Beavis -- 2/1/10 (from: You Don't Say! ) | | That's the iPhone that broke the camel's camel toe Well that went over like a french fry in church He's such a horse's chin I'll go Medieval on your belly button smoking on thin ice He didn't know whether to step or go blind, for Pete's sake Purrs like a gerbil Runs like a well-oiled balloon Your mamma wears combat- granny panties I heard it straight from the horse's head Like a bull in a purse -shop |
| yourmom -- 2/1/10 (from: Top-Selling Children's Books ) | | A Is For arse by Mr. Rogers Buford And The funkadelic roaches Of Squidville by Ernest T. Bass Fairytales My grandpa Taught Me by Cher Don't Go Into The lobby by Fred Figglehorn Mr. taxi driver Is My Best Friend by Dudley Dawson One, Two squint My Shoe by Lewis Skolnick hungry Swedish Limericks by Lamar Latrelle I Wanna Be A stripper When I Grow Up by Ronald McDonald My Two daddies by Spongebob Squarepants Where The soft Things Are by Willie Nelson |
| yourmom -- 2/1/10 (from: Cult Ad ) | | Do you have ankle -Distress? Do you like to whiz , squid -style? Do you long to have a Mike Tyson -style nose -cut? Do you enjoy Walley World -style spitting ? Is your family constantly making fun of the way you run ? Do people not understand why you feel compelled to collect turds ? Like to splatter nuts in a dark port-a-potty , but you don't know why? Though you may not yet realize it, you're what the world considers a celebutard . celebutards are not yet accepted by the majority of paparazzi in suburbia , as you have sadly discovered. However, you are welcome at anger Village in New York City . anger Village is a sanctuary for celebutards unable to gain acceptance in the world. We, here at anger Village believe all celebutards have the right to live wonderfully & smear as much as they please, without fear of misinformed people zipping them. anger Village is run by The Most Holy Temple Of The adept Few, also known as The Most Holy Temple Of The twisting skunk , led by Saint Fire Marshal Bill . No matter what you look like or what you do, you'll be accepted here. Thank you & solace be with you! Fine print: If you have any daughters under 38 , they will be required to marry Saint Fire Marshal Bill , or we will wipe you & your family. |
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