| fump -- 1/30/10 (from: funkywinkerbeen ) | | Jack and Jill went up the jacket to push a pail of box . when Jack tipped the bucket over jill said sweet merciful Christ . Jack then jacked right in the peen . when Jill recovered Jack took her to The 'Bu to glomp for his actions. while they were there jack cower jill and gave her a ridiculous plaid toasted bear and jill thanked him. all of the sudden Flipper walked in and said a-boom-boom-bah i can't stand The Time Lord and walked out. jack then says Blurple aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa FUNKYWINKERBEEN!!!!!! |
| Katoria Ridgmarie -- 1/29/10 (from: Charrise's Cherry ) | | Once upon a time there was a Smurfy girl. SMURFY! Her name was Charrise, and she had one thing that every girl and boy wanted for miles and miles--a cherry. How smurfy! Now, in the town of Angry Church where Charrise lived, there was a famine like you wouldn't believe. Smurfy, isn't it? Charrise's single, Calosal cherry attracted people like honey attracts flies. SMURFY! NaKayla once approached Charrise with only the cherry in mind, claiming to want friendship. Smurfy, isn't it? Oh, the fun Katoria and Charrise had! It was so Blue and the two would always run and sleep all day long. Smurfy, isn't it? The fun ended when Katoria tried to steal Charrise's beloved cherry. How smurfy! What a pity. SMURFY! When Charrise called her out on it, she said the following. How smurfy! You aren't Smurfy at all, like they say, are smurfily you? You're not Smurfy , you're just MEAN! Then Charrise met the handsome and rough young boy named Ean . How smurfy! He was so nice to Charrise, and at the beginning he had really liked Charrise, from kissing her on the Belly to stroking her Chest . How smurfy! She was so happy with him that she offered him some of her cherry. SMURFY! But then, he came very close to stealing it away completely. How smurfy! She just frowned. Smurfy, isn't it? Do you honestly think a girl as Smurfy as I would just give up her cherry to a Brace-Face like you?! Finally, in the year 3010, Charrise rested silently on her deathbed, her cherry untouched. How smurfy! She realized introspectively, as she lay on the floor, that no one would ever have her cherry. SMURFY! This smurfy made her both happy and sad. Smurfy, isn't it? So, with her Harry lips parted, she took a smurfy bite of her red, red cherry. Smurfilicious! Delicious. Smurfy, isn't it? |
| NaKayla St.Way -- 1/29/10 (from: Chicken Turtle ) | | This turtle�s place in the food chain has changed with age. Many of the Fuzzy turtles, including the Girl Turtle Jumping on small animals early in life an then switch to uh diet of Veteranarian . As uh turtle grows its Bra also change. Young chikun turtles iz eaten by Abraham Lincoln , otters an wading Wenis ; alligators an man feed on Double Choco Cream Pie . The white species of turtle, such as tortoises an snappers, hav few Hoe . |
| smurfette -- 1/28/10 (from: Bad Trip ) | | One night I was ya know, like, ridin' my aardvark it was like wow! so eek ! When we got back to thuh smurfcity I took off my kilt because I was like wow! so droll , soo droll that I turned on thuh mixer . Just hearin' that fwap made me feel ween I couldn't control myself from goin' out and bonkin' my whole thuh mamas and thuh papas over and over again, but just as I was like, ya know, about to to flop mamma cass I woke up in a pile of mashed potatoes and I realized that it was a goofy concert of thuh mamma and thuh papas I screamed oof ! Then I fart my pants and found a photo of joe blow along with aspirin . That Is why I was like, ya know, ugh ! I said aloud that is like, ya know, when parole officer came and arrested me... The End??? Or Was IT??? |
| Purple Cat -- 1/25/10 (from: Create-a-Quest ) | | After garnering some semblance of knowledge of the great purple cat from a scripture , Fone Bone embarks for Montreal to search for more clues. After dealing with a green obstacle , Fone Bone sets trail for the blue tower of quebec with new vigor. Upon arrival, they are faced with a wall which requires their sincerest efforts to overcome, only to be presented with a silly fat person hence after. They now enter the den of the sub boss , which requires their sheer heart and conviction to best. Stricken for breath, they are glad they brought their earphones when confronted with the crazy crazy person , as it makes quick work of the debacle. As they continue forward, their mind is tried by the fierce test of the crazy crazy puzzle , only to be flanked by fierce crazy monster at all sides just following. Mounting the tip of their undertaking, they enter the den of the Helmaroc King , and fierce battle ensues. As the dastardly creature is bested, they scourge the chest for the mighty purple cat . |
| Ugliness -- 1/25/10 (from: Top IPOD Downloads ) | | This week's top 20 IPOD downloads.... 20 - Bob , I love you swiftly - by Ugly Person 19 - I wanna dance you all over - by The Band 18 - Everybody say word of doom - by Lauren 17 - Stop playing all over my butt - by Celebrity 16 - The hamster dance - by Meg Ryan 15 - dance my dog - by Ugly Singer 14 - The sweet book of China - by Ugly Band 13 - You make me wanna talk all night - by OJ Simpson 12 - Still playing you - by Ugly Celeb 11 - sing me good, you green I want to rape your family - by The Ugly and Stupid Celeb Band 10 - You are always on my private - by The jones 3 9 - I wanna hop your Cousin Guy - by Madonna and Bill Clinton 8 - You make my heads quiver - by The Justin Quartet 7 - Sweet The White House goats - by The Ugly Dudes 6 - shoe Sonata - by The Dude 5 - Gettin' sweet with it - by Dude Singer 4 - Same ol' Abstract Noun since you tumbled me - by Lance 3 - %WordEndingIn A51%-palooza - by Band of Doom 2 - Caught you hopping with the banker - by Your Mother 1 - All the Convicts i've loved before - by Singer of Ugliness |
| Spyne -- 1/23/10 (from: Plane Ride ) | | One day, Carita decided that she wanted to visit her boyfriend, Michael in Wasilla . So, she went to the internet to buy some plane tickets. They were $ 5,000 a piece. ' OMG , these tickets are redonkulous !' screamed Carita as she stomped to Terminal 9 3/4 . Carita was very angry about having to be in a plane. She had never flown before. The cashier began allowing the passengers to board. Carita flopped in her seat. The engines began to rattle and the pilot's voice came over the speakers . 'This is your pilot speaking, we are about to crash . Please fasten your belts .' The plane took off. Once they were in the air, Carita became a little more irrtated . She stared out the window at the clouds . There were quite a few of them. 'Looks like storms,' yelled the man seated beside Carita . 'Could be a rough ride.' The plane began to rock . The pilot came over the speakers once more. 'This is your captain once again, we're entering a(n) tornado , this ride could get a little scarey . Please remain in your seats.' Suddenly, a(n) eagle was sucked into the jet engine and the engine burst into flames ! Carita felt a little sorry for the eagle at first, but suddenly, she realized that the plane was going to crash! One of its engines was smoking and they were in a(n) wild storm! She began to think of her great boyfriend, Michael . Would he be okay without her ? The plane went down and everyone on board passed away . Carita went to heaven where she waited patiently for Michael . The End |
| Spyne -- 1/22/10 (from: Wanna Be a Guitar Hero? ) | | Don't wait another decade to get your legs on the craziest music video game of the year: saxaphone Hero 100 . Using the special death shaped controllers, you can play through over 200 huge songs. Classic hits such as Pour Some desks On Me and Smells Like fuzzy cars . scream your trumpet by activating noisy power to get over 300 bonus points! Plus you can create your own character with tons of rude features. Change your character's foot color and underwear style by earning holey dollars in shoe mode. So gather your friends and start your own smelly band with saxaphone Hero 100 . Available at Hell-mart for the low price of 400 dollars. Rated w for long lyrics and hill usage. |
| Ha Ha Hannah -- 1/22/10 (from: Messed-Up Fairytale ) | | One day in a land far far away, further than Idaho , thar lived a girl named Hannah . Hannah was very skinny and black and every man in th' kingdom wanted her. Even Chance thought of gettin' into her leather . One day, after drinkin' rather heavily fo' 24 hours straight, Chance killed over t' Hannah 's house and said t'her WOW SPAM!!!!! Hannah yyar so cute ! Ah'd love t'take yo' t' walmart and kiss yo' on th' cheek and then yo' would be mine Fo'ever. Well Hannah thought thet this was great , He was pretty awesome and had a nice castle , So she agreed. Little did he knows Hannah had a secret. So off they went t' walmart and he did kiss her on th' cheek and she was his fo'ever. well thet kiss led one thin' t'another and soon they took of their clothin' and their mo'e clothin' . WOW MORE SPAM!!!! ! Chance shouted! Hannah had a cheek where her other cheek should be. But it was t'late she was his fo'ever. The End The mo'al of th' sto'y is don't count your jack in th' boxes befo'e they run . |
| bvuyg87fyt6co986 -- 1/20/10 (from: Before I Was Famous ) | | Ed Helms : I sold Chrysler pizzas door-to-door in my hometown of Reno for $ 8 an hour. Ke$ha : I washed my neighbors' toilets & penetrated their lawns to make a few extra bucks. Rachael Harris : I played the thong at weddings, birthdays & bar mitzvahs for $ 11 a gig. Cote De Pablo : I painted strip clubs , shingled bathrooms & paved beer cans just so I could have enough money to pay for my cigar . Mark Harmon : I worked as an electrician at the local airport . Lauren Holly : NONE OF YOUR STINKIN' BUSINESS, biotch ! Paulie Perret : I was a back-up singer for Guns N Roses . Lady Gaga : Two words....not legal. That's all I'm gonna say. Zach Galafinakis : I gave dance lessons to celebrities such as Marie Osmond , Pierce Brosnan & Bradley Cooper . Pee Wee Herman : I starred in commercials for Viagra , moose Insurance & Feminine thongs . Rosie O'Donnell : I was in the Army for 48 years. They called me Sergeant Sinister . Drop & give me 32000 , nerd ! |
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