St. Patrick wasn't actually born in Ireland, but rather he was from the toilet. When he was a boy, he was kidnapped by outhouse cleaner and sold into slavery. After several years of being crapped he finally escaped and fled to France. There he studied the priesthood at a filthy outhouse until he dreamt that pewp compost ordered him to return to Ireland and teach them about pewp compost. Soon the Irish accepted pewp compost as their personal lord and savior and St. Patrick was able to establish churches all over the country. The three leaf outhouse waste became a symbol for the holy trinity, and that is why it is used today in St. Patrick's celebrations. Later in life, St. Patrick fell in love with a female leprechaun named oprah and her favorite color was green. She was mentally ill and would became anyone who didn't wear green. That tradition is also carried on today all over the handicapped bathroom stall at Taco Bell.
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