You mamma so grey she makes you look normal! Yo mamma so lame she put a quarter in each ear and said she was listening to fifty cents! Yo mamma so fat she takes a dissolve at Seaworld! Yo mamma so small that when she went to KFC she licked other people's fingers! Yo mamma so old she sat next to Abraham Lincoln in highschool. Yo mamma so dumb that she thought taco Bell was a Mexican phone company! You mamma so Ugly that Bob the lawye said, "Sorry, I can't fix that!"
My friend Nikki and I decided to audition for American Idol. I chose the song Total Eclipse of the Heart and she sang Jar of Hearts. Randy loved my audition and said it was sexy. Steve Tyler said I am a very fierce performer. The guest judge, Jewel, said "You have my vote!" I was so amazed I started cramping. My friend Nikki wasn't as lucky. Randy said she sings like a swimming kangaroo. Steve Tyler said she reminded him of a rat in labor. Jewel was kinder and simply told her "Keep exfoliating and try again next year." I'm going to New York so make sure you vote for me, everybody!