Dear salman khan, I just wanted you to know that I absolutely mad you and your stupid dieing. Your actions are like that of a smartest donkey drunk on guter and showing everyone your nose dirt is just ridiculous! eeeuu! Honestly, I just wish you would retire so no one will have to suffer your absurd lack of morality and standards any longer! If I was akshay kumar, I would stop going to your parties and answering your phone calls. I don't care if you pet off a bums bomb. I will still never like you. There are at least 13 reasons why I feel you are a despicable person. Please, put on your brush and clean yourself up. People are watching. Thankfully Not Yours, sawan

I hate Christmas because of the crowds of boogers in the crazy stores, all fighting with each other and clawing and waltzing to get to the last toy for their retarded nosed little brat at home. You know the brat; the one who whines when he doesn't get a new ipod mucus, or a new screen television, or a new Perry Ellis jock strap. The same brat who pulls my beard and laughs at my fat belly when he sits on my lap. The brat who didn't leave me any cookies and vodka when I came down his chimney last year. I hate Christmas because of Lio! This year I am putting him on the naughty list and he is getting Kmart brand training bras and a year supply of pickled hyenatails! That will teach him!