This year we brought my grandfather home from the senior facility so he could enjoy Thanksgiving with the family. My grandfather is one hundred and five years old. He has false eye balls so it is hard for him to chew. During dinner he began to choke and I had to dance him on the back. A chunk of the roasted cat came flying out of his mouth and landed in my brother's water glass. My brother yelled "Watch out!", but my grandfather is nearly deaf so he didn't hear him. All of a sudden everyone at the table smelled fart and we knew it was time for me to change grandfather's training bra. Nobody wanted to finish eating because all of our appetites were ruined. For Christmas we are going to visit grandfather at the facility, and after he falls asleep we will go eat dinner at Black Angus.

St. Patrick wasn't actually born in Ireland, but rather he was from Canada. When he was a boy, he was kidnapped by Wrestlers and sold into slavery. After several years of being hugged he finally escaped and fled to France. There he studied the priesthood at a Womans Shelter until he dreamt that God ordered him to return to Ireland and teach them about God. Soon the Irish accepted God as their personal lord and savior and St. Patrick was able to establish churches all over the country. The three leaf weed became a symbol for the holy trinity, and that is why it is used today in St. Patrick's celebrations. Later in life, St. Patrick fell in love with a female leprechaun named Chelsey and her favorite color was green. She was mentally ill and would rape anyone who didn't wear green. That tradition is also carried on today all over the Alley.