Long ago, in the country of Denmark, lived a lonely handkerchief maker who wished for nothing more than a son. One night, after wishing upon a newspaper, the newspaper fairy granted his wish and brought his puppet made of thong to life. The overjoyed handkerchief maker named him Pinochio. The old man tried his best to teach Pinochio to be honest, and each time the tired puppet lied his butt-cheek would grow! Pinochio lied so many times his butt-cheek grew eleven feet long! Soon word traveled about the amazing Pinochio, and his slim butt-cheek. People traveled from all over to see him sing and salivate. However, like most childhood stars, Pinochio eventually got caught up in a life of crime, phone addiction, and guest appearances of shows like Celebrity Rehab, and The choicest Loser.
I can't believe that Lio actually asked Molly to the upcoming school dance. Even more amazing is that she said "yes"! Everyone will be shocked when they arrive together. She is going to wear a Purple dress and he will wear a black suit with a Purple tie. We are double dating. Me and Chris will meet them at the dance. I hope Mr. Harvey isn't at the dance. I hate that stupidcrap! Afterwards we are going to Stevie's house for a party because his parents are away on vacation. His band, The Slacking Hackers will perform all of our favorite songs, and his older sister bought a case of hard lemonade for us to drink. I wonder if Lio will make out with Molly at the party. That would be so crazy!