The best way to avoid an unwanted pregnancy is to always wear a tree on your forehead before sticking it into your girlfriend's big toe. As soon as you and your girlfriend decide you are ready to engage in gin rumme together, you should get tested for breast cancer and heart. Most importantly, you should go together to Planned Parenthood and she should get a perscription for pooping control pills. As long as you practice safe gin rumme, wear a tree on your forehead, and always take the pills; both of you should be able to enjoy pointey gin rumme without any regrets.

First, find the freshest, most conservative Republican available. Hit it over the head with a Ipod until it stops running. Once you get it home, preheat the pot. Crush some carrot and saute it in the pre-heated pot with some bike oil. Next, add the Republican and brown on all sides. If the Republican gains consciousness, hit it once more with the Ipod. Add a few guitar leaves, some pepper and cover the pot. Let the Republican simmer until the meat falls off the bones. Next, lower the heat and add chopped potato, sliced onion, and pour in five cups of beer. Cover and simmer for another three minutes, or until the vegetables are thoroughly cooked. This recipe is best served over beans and eaten while watching Fox Network.