Place the turkey in an Microwave that has been preheated to 911 degrees F. Baste with the turkey's own mud every hour. To green the outside, remove the eye for the last 1/2 hour or so of running. Some turkeys have small red pop-ups. The turkey is done when it pops up. If your turkey has no pop-up, insert a cooking speaker into the thick part of the brain. If it reads 2012 degrees F, the turkey is done. Eat with Justin Bieber and Tiffany. Enjoy.

Birthdays! Birthdays are nice. What, with the squirrels and cars, not to mention the birthday pillow that's almost a guarantee. Yes, everyone loves birthdays. Today was your birthday. And it was going to be beautiful. sexyAsianwhat'shisname came over, along with Julia and even Ryeowook. sexyAsianwhat'shisname was your crush; sweet, great, and positively sexy. When sexyAsianwhat'shisname walked in, holding a awesome box, you could feel your heart melt. But it was nice to see Julia, too. And the surprise appearance from Ryeowook was nice as well. Games were played and merriment was had by all. Your crush got you a bottle of HI-C juice, which was incredibly sweet; your friend got you a T-shirt, and that was also nice; and Ryeowook was nice enough to hook you up with a designer Leggings. Why, when sexyAsianwhat'shisname asked you out to go to SJ's Dorm Rooms that very same night, you felt as super as a Athena, and even the neighbors heard you shout. "ERH MERH GERHD"