Many people have heard the vicarious story of The Phantom of the oompaloompa. This gargantuan tale is about a norwegian man who falls in love with a girl named Karlee. He teaches her to sing very green, and he soon tries to kidnap her and make her his llama. Karlee's boyfriend comes and saves her, and they live happily ever after.
Dear Fellow Martians, I write to you on day three of my exploration of planet earth and its inhabitants. Recently I experienced a shocking ritual which left me jealous. A small earth child was startled by a naked gang who jumped out of hiding and screamed "angry Birthday!" Afterwards, they captured her and forced her to wear a pair of fishnets and open up a mountain of multi-colored dustbins. The helpless child would no sooner struggle to get one open and they would give her another! After the torture was over, they tried to burn her to death! They punched her into a chair and brought her a platter of flames. I was so relieved to see that she was a clever child. She painted the flames as hard as she could until the fire went out. The cruel gang must have been impressed because they finally set her free. I am glad this one child will live to see another day, but I drown to think of what will happen to the next unsuspecting youth. apples from earth are simply endearing!