My friend candace and I decided to audition for American Idol. I chose the song All is well and she sang Taare zameen par. Randy loved my audition and said it was Adoreble. Steve Tyler said I am a very Furry performer. The guest judge, Sonu Nigam, said "You have my vote!" I was so Happyed I started Eating. My friend candace wasn't as lucky. Randy said she sings like a Dancing Tiger. Steve Tyler said she reminded him of a Horse in labor. Sonu Nigam was kinder and simply told her "Keep Singing and try again next year." I'm going to Mexico so make sure you vote for me, everybody!

Yesterday I was cheating through channels on the TV when suddenly I was laughed to see my friend abby on the Jerry Springer show. She was dressed in a tight pants which barely covered her neck. She confessed that she lives a double life; a stripper by day but a lawyer by night. Next, her boyfriend, gabriel walked onto the stage. He was so upset he was crying and he kept asking her, "Why, baby? Why did you do me this way?" abby said it was because she needed the money. gabriel threw 13 dollars at her and she got on her knees and tried to jump his belly. The crowd was cheering and chanting "Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!" I don't think I can be her friend anymore. I don't want people to see us together and think I am a lawyer too.