once upon time there was a penguin so i ate it. the penguin popped out of my stomach while i was running and it tryed to kill me. from there on it was me pet. i called it chicken butt. it was the best penguin ever. i tryed to stop thinking of how it tried to kill me but now i dont ever see it i dont know where he/she went.

I've been pregnant now for 7 weeks and my water finally broke tonight! I was yelping at the time, feeling passion, when suddenly saliva sprayed everywhere! My husband looked at me and shouted, "this feels like fire!" and we jumped in the car. We drove to the hospital as quickly as possible. Once we got there though, I realized the doctor was very spoiled. When he saw me he said "fuck my life" and called me honey poo which made me feel embarrassed. I had to let him help me give birth to my child though, because my nostril started to burn. When I laid down on the table and spread my legs, the baby plucked and all was well. I named the child Squirrel.