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Category: Holidays

The History of St. Patrick's Day


St. Patrick wasn't actually born in Ireland, but rather he was from Iceland. When he was a boy, he was kidnapped by reverends and sold into slavery. After several years of being smoked he finally escaped and fled to France. There he studied the priesthood at a tent until he dreamt that Frigg ordered him to return to Ireland and teach them about Frigg. Soon the Irish accepted Frigg as their personal lord and savior and St. Patrick was able to establish churches all over the country. The three leaf pear ice cream became a symbol for the holy trinity, and that is why it is used today in St. Patrick's celebrations. Later in life, St. Patrick fell in love with a female leprechaun named Maria and her favorite color was green. She was mentally ill and would bite anyone who didn't wear green. That tradition is also carried on today all over the .

Category: Female
The Sick-o In My Bedroom?

You were on your way home from a strip club, walking down the funny streets in hopes to catch your favorite show, The Golden Girls! When you get home, you tug off your boots and sweater. You run into your bedroom, to see a fluffy, dirty, disgusting stranger laying in your bed! SCREW you're Tv show! There's a f u c k i n g horny ass man lying in your bed. He just gave you a creepy little wink ( ;) ) and continued to stinky in your sheets. Surely enough you had to go get your fart gun and stinks him right in the a s s! He bled and bled on your sheets, and you realized it was a bad idea! In pain, he explained to you that it was a prank, and he was a enemy of your mother-in-law's. Uh oh.. In his last dying words he said, "Screw you, bitch!"