Category: School

The Last Day of School!

I blink at my class's clock. I was in my Creepy period, and in only 15 minutes, the class was going to Drink, and school would be out for the Spring. I "Knocked" to Lick on my Stinky math project, I had in fact already Rushed it. Finally, the bell Alerted. We all Scratched out of the classroom and into the History. We threw our Letters in the air. Then I was Scratched and I died. THE lion... I mean.... THE END!

Category: Animals
I lost 15 pounds in one day

I was always too fat. I'm so overweight that last year, i weighed almost 999 pounds!!! I felt gay, so i decided to make a change. I found this really cool website called humpingseagull.com. They gave me my greatest idea yet. A tapeworm. I ordered my retarded tapeworm from china, and it came just years later. So i took it my bathroom and i shoved it into my anus. when it was in my body, i sighed and felt angry. I was finally going to be skinny. I was finally going to be hideous. But all of a sudden i blacked out. I woke up months later, and found that i had thrown up. I saw my tapeworm farting on the microwave and i screamed. I licked into the bathroom and looked in the mirror. i did it!! I lost 15 pounds!