Category: Nursery Rhymes

Alice In Wonderland

One sunny day Alice was at gate Park reading the most creaky book ever written when she noticed a white bunny dressed in a socks running in a panic. Alice quickly followed him and fell all the way down a bunny hole; at the bottom she ate a pizza which made her so small she was able to have a conversation with a anteater that smoked a crack, a tulips that could fuck and a lizard named sophia who licked houses. The worst part was after she ate a nuts and grew larger and was chased around by the Queen of trees who kept screaming "Off with her big tits!"

Category: Female
My Water Just Broke

I've been pregnant now for 12 weeks and my water finally broke tonight! I was chanting at the time, feeling frustrated, when suddenly lava sprayed everywhere! My husband looked at me and shouted, "this is so painless" and we jumped in the car. We drove to the hospital as quickly as possible. Once we got there though, I realized the doctor was very smelly. When he saw me he said "not again" and called me boy which made me feel jealous. I had to let him help me give birth to my child though, because my chest started to burn. When I laid down on the table and spread my legs, the baby cracked and all was well. I named the child mouse.