"From this point forth, we shall be leaving the crackly tree trunk of fact and tripping together through the colourful flowers of memory into elastics of glittery guesswork."
Once upon a time, there was a gnarly boy. His name was John. John had a dog named dolphin. This dog couldn't stop surfing santorum. What was weird about the santorum is that it looked a lot like BEANS. Day after day, dolphin kept surfing the strange santorum and its head would just keep increasing in size. Eventually, the dog died and a porn fluffer volunteered to operate on its brain. "ARGH" screamed the doctor when he saw the dog's massive brain. "There are tampons on every square inch of this brain! We need someone more specialized in dealing with this!" So they called in Tom Hanks. Tom Hanks walks in a few minutes later wearing only a boxer shorts and holding a beer. Tom Hanks's noostril was really sexy and it made John uncomfortable. q-tip... dildo... This is going to be a messy surgery.