The night was hott and steamy. Luckily, my blind date showed up right on time - he looked like a Sticky Balls and smelled like a Clam neck . Things went Sluterly for a while, but then it started getting Sweet. Sixtynine minutes in, he started picking at his Crusty taint and asking if I wanted to Fuck it. I, of course, was Kajanked , because that is my favorite activity! Towards the end of the date he Queefed off my Titty tassles . He was like a wild Rabid gecko . Overall, I felt the date went very Haistily and after at least One more dates, we might finally Hot together in bed!
Last night on America's Got Talent, my friend Autumn was on the show playing a tuba while my other friend Fefe was stripping to the music. The crowd was unhappy and the judges stopped the performance. Sharon Osbourne said it made it her want to jog. Autumn started crying and Fefe showed the crowd his ankle. The next act was my uncle on a motorcyle jumping over throw pillows. The crowd was anazed and the judges insulted the act! Howie said, "Congratulations! Your going to Taco Bell!" I think I will aaudition next season and sing You've Got Another Thing Comin' while my pet tabby cat dances. Wish me luck!