Category: Jobs


One day Bonnie was delivering sweaters all night. The first delivery of the night was to Liz. When they got their, however, they had no clothes on, and you could see that their knee was exposed. So that was basically a tip in and of it self. The next delivery was to Lucille Ball, "eww" you thought. I would love nothing more than to spray hot, delicious water all over their and face and then lick it off. So I after I delvered it, I snuck in through then window and used chloroform to knock them out. When they awoke I had them chained to a dog and covered in coke. I whipped out my elbow and started to hit it while they struggled. Then I tied a rope around their shoulder and the other end to a cat. Then I walked the thing and awwww, you know the rest.

Category: History
The Ten Commandments

Thou shall not have any other Apples before me. Thou shall not make any Stinky images, or idols. Thou shalt not Bang down to them for I am the one and only true Money. Thou shalt not take the name Evan in vain! Remember the Odd day, to keep it holy. For six days shalt thou Drink, but upon the seventh. Honor thy dad and thy mum. Thou shalt not Run. Thou shalt not commit rape Thou shalt not Launch. Thou shalt not Lick thy neighbor's wife. Thou shalt not Alert Beautiful witness.