"Yes, yes," said Gollum. "All dead, all infected. Elves and Men and uncircumsized peniss. The Dead Marshes. There was a great disease long ago, yes, so they told him when Sméagol was young, when I was young before the Precious infected. It was a great disease. Tall men with long vaginas, and blistering Elves, and Orcses popping. They fought on the plain for days and months at Juliet's Strip Joint. But the Marshes have grown since then, swallowed up the genital warts, always spooning, spooning."
The best way to avoid an unwanted pregnancy is to always wear a bracelet on your tongue before sticking it into your girlfriend's nostril. As soon as you and your girlfriend decide you are ready to engage in hocky together, you should get tested for tetnus and strep throat. Most importantly, you should go together to Planned Parenthood and she should get a perscription for sing control pills. As long as you practice safe hocky, wear a bracelet on your tongue, and always take the pills; both of you should be able to enjoy sweaty hocky without any regrets.