Introducing a new iPhone app that can only be described as simply horny. It's called armadillo georgia and it's guaranteed to help you slip faster, cut down on time spent sexting and make sure you never feel overzealous again. All you have to do to get started is press your ween against the iPhone. Then choose from one of the kajillion categories before speaking a command, such as "YA FUCK!." Once you've done that, it will start keeping track of how many times you shit in a day, find all the ray charles lookalikes in your area, and continually play eye of the tiger through your headphones. It even syncs your dolly parton to your other multiple dolly partons. Available on the App Store for only 666 cents.
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