Category: Goofy

Casual IM conversation

*Maddie has logged on* Skylar: Oh hi Maddie! Maddie: OH MY GAWD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!, Skylar! Skylar: You were really stupid at pie shop today... Maddie: I know. Olivia put me in a stinky mood. Skylar: It's fine. What are you doing right now? Maddie: Just drinking some urine and playing with my shark. Skylar: ugh brb, my Dad is squishing at me. Maddie: WHAT THE HECK!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?, I gotta go anyway. My shark just smelled.

Category: Holidays
Thanksgiving Dinner

This year we brought my grandfather home from the senior facility so he could enjoy Thanksgiving with the family. My grandfather is one hundred and 5 years old. He has false buttcheeks so it is hard for him to chew. During dinner he began to choke and I had to fart him on the back. A chunk of the roasted fish came flying out of his mouth and landed in my nephew's water glass. My nephew yelled "holy shit that smells bad!", but my grandfather is nearly deaf so he didn't hear him. All of a sudden everyone at the table smelled poop and we knew it was time for me to change grandfather's one piece swimsuit. Nobody wanted to finish eating because all of our appetites were ruined. For Christmas we are going to visit grandfather at the facility, and after he falls asleep we will go eat dinner at kelsey's.