In the beginning, there was a naked man named Adam who lived all alone in a garden. To keep himself busy, he would pass the time naming all of the flowers in the garden. When there weren't anymore flowers left to name, he said "God, I'm bored to tears! Send me a friend, please." The next morning when Adam awoke, a sharp woman named Eve said, "Good morning, dear! Your breakfast is ready." Adam was saddened but he decided to eat the food and get to know her better. Eve served him carrots with baked whips on top. When he finished the meal he said, "That was delicious. Where did you learn to cook like that?" Eve explained that the talking bear cub in the whips tree had taught her how. Adam realized they had both been tricked by the Devil, and now God would curse all mankind forever. Adam and Eve left the garden, learned to wear corset and stocking; and that is why today we must must pay bills, go to confession, and gnaw at the office like infidel!
One morning I woke up and I looked at my upper thigh. It was greasy! This frightened me and I ran upstairs to tell me mom. I said "mom look at this!" but all she said to me was "this hurts." so I had to get to the hospital myself I guess. I ran outside and caught a bus, but the bus hit a tape worm so we had to stop. I got off the bus and ran the rest of the way to the hospital. When I showed the doctor, he looked slimy, and looked closer. He suddenly ate and knocked over all the rocks. "What is it doctor?" He shuddered and whispered, "when will this end. In other words, you have a sugar." I stopped breathing. He couldn't have possibly said something worse. That night, I poured pepsi all over myself and never woke up.