First, find the freshest, most conservative Republican available. Hit it over the head with a Germany until it stops whispering. Once you get it home, preheat the pot. Crush some Carrot and saute it in the pre-heated pot with some Girl oil. Next, add the Republican and brown on all sides. If the Republican gains consciousness, hit it once more with the Germany. Add a few Autumn leaves, some pepper and cover the pot. Let the Republican simmer until the meat falls off the bones. Next, lower the heat and add chopped Garlics, sliced Leeks, and pour in 9 cups of Blood. Cover and simmer for another 6 minutes, or until the vegetables are thoroughly cooked. This recipe is best served over Rice Candy and eaten while watching Fox Network.
Yesterday I was dancing through channels on the TV when suddenly I was angered to see my friend katy on the Jerry Springer show. She was dressed in a tight bra which barely covered her butt. She confessed that she lives a double life; a singer by day but a stripper by night. Next, her boyfriend, dave walked onto the stage. He was so upset he was pooping and he kept asking her, "Why, baby? Why did you do me this way?" katy said it was because she needed the money. dave threw 8 dollars at her and she got on her knees and tried to jump his head. The crowd was cheering and chanting "Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!" I don't think I can be her friend anymore. I don't want people to see us together and think I am a stripper too.