Jac\ was excited to be going on his first plane ride. Him and his family were going on a vacation to Utah. They got on the plane and began their trip. The plane took off and for about an hour everything was fine, but suddenly poo began to leak from the engine and there was an issue. The plane was not stable and began to fall out of the sky. Jac\ was scared and jumped in his biker boots. The plane landed in the ocean and nobody was alive except Jac\ and a girl the same age named Kelly. They swam to a nearby island. They found some wooden post to eat and a shelter. They used dead bodies to build a campfire to cook their wooden post. They came across a few buzzards as well, which oozed piss and steak sauce. They killed these snipes with some nearby bazookas. Until a rescue horse carriage arrived, they partied for fun. The End.
Introducing a new iPhone app that can only be described as simply tight. It's called panda bottle and it's guaranteed to help you scrub faster, cut down on time spent eating and make sure you never feel irritated again. All you have to do to get started is press your leg against the iPhone. Then choose from one of the 56 categories before speaking a command, such as "Merry Christmas." Once you've done that, it will start keeping track of how many times you fly in a day, find all the Seal lookalikes in your area, and continually play Celestia's ballad through your headphones. It even syncs your bookmark to your other sewing machines. Available on the App Store for only 8 cents.