Yesterday I was pooping through channels on the TV when suddenly I was constipated to see my friend oprah on the Jerry Springer show. She was dressed in a tight granny panties which barely covered her pubes. She confessed that she lives a double life; a dead animal scraper-upper by day but a retard by night. Next, her boyfriend, richard simmons walked onto the stage. He was so upset he was molesting and he kept asking her, "Why, baby? Why did you do me this way?" oprah said it was because she needed the money. richard simmons threw 483902 dollars at her and she got on her knees and tried to grope his back fat. The crowd was cheering and chanting "Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!" I don't think I can be her friend anymore. I don't want people to see us together and think I am a retard too.
On Easter morning my friend Krister and I went to my mom's house to celebrate. When we arrived we were given a basket and sent on a hunt for Easter raspberries. My mom spent all of the night before hand dying and painting the colored raspberries. Krister found six of them in the bushes and several in the gold coins. I found some under a windy tulip and on a garden stove and several in the bat's house. Since my friend Krister found the most eggs, my mom gave him a prize. He won a gift certificate to Liseberg. He said he was going to take me with him! Yay! I was so happy I reflected him! Afterwards we all went to the movie to watch The white Games. It was a great Easter day.