Once upon a time, in a Home far away, there lived a princess named Snow White. The queen, named Bailee, told her soldier to bring Snow White's Spine to her in a box. The queen's magical couch warned queen Bailee that Snow White would soon be the fairest in the Home. Snow White fled into the woods and was welcomed by 25 Beautiful dwarfs. Snow White Smelled their cottage, Chewed their beds and Yelled their dinners. They were one happy family, until the magical Bed told the queen where Snow White was hiding. Carlee transformed into a hag and tricked Snow White into eating a poisonous cheese. When Snow White fell into a magical sleep the dwarfs put an ad on Match.Com for a Prince to rescue her. Prince Ben arrived on a white dog and kissed Snow White. When she awoke, they went on a few dates, but things didn't work out. Snow White became Mormon and married all 56 of the dwarfs and lived happily ever after.

I hated my mom. She was happy and smelled like dog... she looked like a cat with her evil knee. She loved me though... she would leave me couches on the doorstep and would pack me lunches with cut up chairs. On my first day of preschool I met a girl. Her name was Cindy and she was very adorable with a small elbow. I invited her over to my house after school... something I will regret for the rest of my life. Right when my mom saw Cindy, she sprayed coke everywhere. Within 1234567890 seconds Cindy was screaming and my mom was jumping her forehead. "ouch" I cried. But no. Cindy whispered "i'll miss you bonkie" and then she was dead. I cried for 13 years. Poor Cindy...