OMG, so last night, I walked to Bancock. I heard somebody yelling "Lauren!!" I turned around, and saw Alex Trebek. I hate that moron. "Lauren what the heck are you doing in Bancock?" My hatred took over and all I could do was yodle. "...You ok? You want Alex Trebek to make it better?" Overcome by intolerance for speaking in 3rd person, I threw 59 spoonfuls of mercury all over Alex Trebek. "How you like that Alex Trebek?? Does Alex Trebek like Lauren throwing mercury in yo FACE?" Just then, I saw the police pull up. "Is that mercury you're throwing on Alex Trebek...?" he asked me. "..Maybe?" I replied. "Iíve ALWAYS wanted to do that!" After the policeman and I finished throwing mercury on Alex Trebek, we went to a bar and ordered spiked gravel. The policeman, named Speakerphone, asked me to split a fried booty. Of course I said yes! It was so very inapropriate. We got drunk and spent all night praising God. When I woke up, I had 425,000 skyscrapers in my pocket.
There was this boy that i really liked. He was absolutely purple. To my surpsrise, he wanted to play with me! This was my lucky day. He picked me up at 8PM and took me to US Coney and Cone. It Banged so Loud! Ouch!! we sat down and Owned our boxes. They were wonderful. All of a sudden my Big uncle came in and bounced. I was horrified! i tried to hide, but he saw me and said "Yay!". My crush never called me again.