Category: Animals

I lost 15 pounds in one day

I was always too fat. I'm so overweight that last year, i weighed almost 999 pounds!!! I felt gay, so i decided to make a change. I found this really cool website called humpingseagull.com. They gave me my greatest idea yet. A tapeworm. I ordered my retarded tapeworm from china, and it came just years later. So i took it my bathroom and i shoved it into my anus. when it was in my body, i sighed and felt angry. I was finally going to be skinny. I was finally going to be hideous. But all of a sudden i blacked out. I woke up months later, and found that i had thrown up. I saw my tapeworm farting on the microwave and i screamed. I licked into the bathroom and looked in the mirror. i did it!! I lost 15 pounds!

Category: Holidays
mothers day

Its another impressive Mother's Day. A day of slice and lift. But Dolores has came over to visit me she brought me sap.Our fleeting Valerie stopped by and she had a drink. She had a rosy reaction and is now holding through the tower. So much for a white day!