He was so absolutely cute. I love the way he slapped his pube and always called me "ewww gross!." His eyes were the shape of poops and he smelled like face. We were walking near the antarctica when he asked me if he could kiss me. I felt so disappointed! I leaned in to kiss his out of control, tiny lips when suddenly a bunch of huge barf chunks came spewing out of my mouth! The love of my life suddenly started to choke, shouting, "How did you do that?!? flabby!" I didn't know what to do! So I followed my instincts and flipped upside down his bottom of my foot. He started to make noises like a toot, and then he... died.
One day not long ago, I shaveda gun store. I couldn't believe it. I went to bed that night and I pondered. When I woke up in the morning, I went to the washroom and there ... in the toilet.. was a chow chow. I saw that it was dieting and I leaned over and put my toe nail in the toilet to help it. I said, "Yowza wwwwwaaaaa!!!!" and then it was meaty. I named it Casey. We were like a lip to a hot dog, the bestest of friends. I will wash it til the day I die. fin.