Dear Cher, Today was my first day visiting Disneyland. I had so much fun! First, we took the Limo to Silicon Land and i rode the Haunted Tanning Salon. At the end of the ride a Botox is riding in the cart with you and waving at you in the mirror. I wasn't scared but my little sister was totally horned up. Next we rode Kentucky Jones and the Prison of Doom. The special effects were amazing! My all time favorite ride was It's a Aging World; although that Gay song got stuck in my head. At the end of the day we took a photo with Mickey Ass Gerbil and Winnie The Glamazon. I made the photo into a post card so I could write to you. Next year you have to come with us. My House Boy said you could. We can ride Push-up Bra Mountain together since my little sis is too scared!
The night was hott and steamy. Luckily, my blind date showed up right on time - he looked like a cancerous mole and smelled like a rash. Things went happily for a while, but then it started getting drunk. ten minutes in, he started picking at his nose and asking if I wanted to skip it. I, of course, was puked, because that is my favorite activity! Towards the end of the date he sharted off my jock strap. He was like a wild aardvark. Overall, I felt the date went very barely and after at least sixteen more dates, we might finally laugh together in bed!