Yesterday I was cheating through channels on the TV when suddenly I was laughed to see my friend abby on the Jerry Springer show. She was dressed in a tight pants which barely covered her neck. She confessed that she lives a double life; a stripper by day but a lawyer by night. Next, her boyfriend, gabriel walked onto the stage. He was so upset he was crying and he kept asking her, "Why, baby? Why did you do me this way?" abby said it was because she needed the money. gabriel threw 13 dollars at her and she got on her knees and tried to jump his belly. The crowd was cheering and chanting "Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!" I don't think I can be her friend anymore. I don't want people to see us together and think I am a lawyer too.
Once upon a time, there was a girl named Belle. Her favorite book was Where's Waldo?. Her father was an inventor named Maurice. One night, Maurice was walking through the woods and accidentally ended up at a shitty castle. He felt like WTF!? when a beast grabbed him by the vagina and roared, "I have you now!". The beast had been a human but was transformed into a monster because he was unkind. The curse could only be broken if somebody fell in love with him. 'Who could love me?' the beast wondered. 'I smell like a penis-I mean pickle-uhh CUCUMBER!.' Belle did not want her father to be trapped in the castle, so she agreed to take his place. Belle and the Beast ate my big juicy dick for dinner. They vomited in the snow. They even watched their favorite TV show, Sherry and the Anus, together. Belle realized that Beast was not as scary as he looked. After 5 days, Belle realized that she loved him. "I love you, you totally homo middle finger!" Belle cried. This was it! True love! Before her eyes, the beast turned back into a human. They were married at the Granny's Sex Dungeon and lived happily ever after.