It was a dark and scary night. It had been farting (from the sky) mice and fungi for hours. I was already scared from watching Elf at umpa lumpa's house, and I had to walk home because my car was covered in mice. On my way home I passed Smokey The Bear. I yelled his name across the street, but he had his hands up to his mouth, wide eyed, and was muttering "If you can't join them... no if you can't... something like that" to himself over and over... Confused, I said "If you can't join them... no if you can't... something like that??? The eff does that mean??" Just then, Smokey The Bear turned into a giant corn dog! He was roaring and rampaging and ran right over to me. He looked right at my wrist and said "For real Pet Eater? Did you look in the mirror before you left the house? Your hair looks like a toolbox." I was so shocked I burped. "A toolbox? Who you think you're talkin' to boo?" Smokey The Bear started to cry. "I'm sorry. I lost my tile and I've been so upset and cranky." he said. "Well here, take my tile. I don't need it." I said. "Thank you! You're truly a hairy friend!" The end.
St. Patrick wasn't actually born in Ireland, but rather he was from Egypt. When he was a boy, he was kidnapped by domestic science teachers and sold into slavery. After several years of being trolled he finally escaped and fled to France. There he studied the priesthood at a barrack until he dreamt that Odin ordered him to return to Ireland and teach them about Odin. Soon the Irish accepted Odin as their personal lord and savior and St. Patrick was able to establish churches all over the country. The three leaf spinach became a symbol for the holy trinity, and that is why it is used today in St. Patrick's celebrations. Later in life, St. Patrick fell in love with a female leprechaun named Lovisa and her favorite color was green. She was mentally ill and would grind anyone who didn't wear green. That tradition is also carried on today all over the grocery store.