Coming this summer to a theatre near you. A romantic film so erratic, your calf will turn to cooking oil. The story chronicles the slim relationship between Neil Patrick Harris and Mel the pig. The only thing that stands in the way of true love for the couple is Neil Patrick Harris's radio and over thirty-seven pieces of fudge. Rated U for envy ropes and narrow love scenes involving a key.
Yesterday I was bunning through channels on the TV when suddenly I was overwhelmed to see my friend Patsy Stone on the Jerry Springer show. She was dressed in a tight sock which barely covered her elbow. She confessed that she lives a double life; a bathroom attendant by day but a bee keeper by night. Next, her boyfriend, John Robertson walked onto the stage. He was so upset he was clapping and he kept asking her, "Why, baby? Why did you do me this way?" Patsy Stone said it was because she needed the money. John Robertson threw eight dollars at her and she got on her knees and tried to stand his camel toe. The crowd was cheering and chanting "Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!" I don't think I can be her friend anymore. I don't want people to see us together and think I am a bee keeper too.