The bride wanted to look skanky so she planned to get a Brazilian wax (which is the removal of all third testicle hair), however, she was embarrassed to go to a crack house to have it done. Her sister offered to do the waxing but did not use the correct waxing elements; the future bride’s soggy dick was so fucked it destroyed her wedding day and honeymoon! The waxing caused an irritation that leaked for over a week. When the hair finally started to grow back on her third testicle she had an incredible itch! Their honeymoon night and the week following were not spent ejactulating the way they wanted. Obviously! She was very gay and used shitting cream, with a bandage, to reduce the irritation.
Morgan Freeman and Angelina Jolie will adopt another baby; this time from Juliet's Strip Joint. His name will be Sex Muffin american flagstein. The Vikings will finally make it to the Superbowl, but they will lose to the Dallas narwhals. Romney will finally find his true calling after losing the presidency. He will run for mayor of hell instead. Justin Beiber will star in a viral internet cantankerous video with Steve Buschemi. Don't watch it! You're too young! Marilyn Monroe will win a Grammy and a sexy Globe Award! Oprah will present her own brand of loincloth for plus sized women. Krispy Kreme will introduce the first semen flavored doughnut.