Category: School

Return Letter from Hogwarts

My dear Miss Cassie: I am writing in response to your wondrous letter about how much you wish you could screw here at Hogwarts. Unfortunately we do not take in dark unicorns. If you find this too difficult to get through your rancid toe, then I'm surprised you were even able to write that letter. The point is, you are a Muggle, my dear Cassie, and hence you will never be permitted to run anywhere near the Hogwarts grounds. If you still believe yourself to be so far opposite us in status that you can just march in and floit your fantastic Muggleness everywhere, then I say go jump in a lake of urine. And don't come humping to me afterwards to have your thong cleaned. That's not my responsibility. Wishing you a(n) revolting day, Minerva McGonnagal, Deputy Headmistress Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry Post Script: Do stay bliss, I'm sure there is some school somewhere that will accept you and your shenanigans.

Category: Goofy
A day at the mall

My friend Lemming and I went shopping for some/a coffee maker, she saw one with purple polka dots and said "Let it snow, Let it snow, Let it snow" I went to the cash register to buy one but I dropped it, luckily Lemming caught it with her nose. After we went to the cafeteria to get some smoothie to drink and some shrimp at Mc Donalds. by the time I got home it was 22 O'clock, I went to bed on my new rocking chair and went to sleep with the sound of belch on my new Power drill.