One day you and your friend, Joei go on a trip to Las Vegas and decide to stop for some hash brownies to eat. Then after you finish your food you start seeing weird horses you look over to Joei and see that he/she has disappeared! You look and see a goat, he tells you to suck his giant rectum you say " OKAY BABE! " And now you must run a marathon or you will suffer from forever-lasting herpes!
Mom and Dad, This isn't an easy thing to admit. I've been avoiding this very naked subject for years, but it's time you know the truth. Mom, Dad, I'm deranged. I've known I was deranged since I was 10 years old. Maybe I was born deranged, maybe it was all of the nails mom and I made as a kid, only God knows. What I do know is that I've felt so drunk keeping this from you. I've talked with a few other deranged people and they suggested writing a letter. It sort of made me want to sneeze, but I refrained. I hope this doesn't change anything. I know you seemed a little steamy about our cousin Cher being deranged, but I hoped being your child would change things. I'm overcome with sadness and I'm thinking about going to hospital for three days or two. If you like, we can all sit down and have some nice motor oil with my deranged friend Jason. I know it would make me feel tired, and I hope you would feel that way too. You guys are the most musical parents ever. Love you.