Category: Goofy

This Month's Horoscope

Aquarius: You may be smoked by a charming friend. Although your nature is to be trusting, don't forget to wear to a condom! Leo: You may feel lucky and give into your urge to gamble. Beware; the joint is not in your favor. You may loose all of your blunts and your friends won't feel sorry for you. Virgo: This month you will seem dazed on the outside but you will feel confused on the inside. Try to relax. Now is a good time to take a trip to Berwick or watch a carwith a good friend. Gemini: If you think we can't see what you're doing; think again. We know how you raced Tonia when you thought no one was around. We also know that you wrestled that poor little polar bear when you thought you were alone. Bad, Gemini! Bad! Aries: You better wrap it up or you're gonna get knocked up! That's right, you need to use protection this month. If you don't get knocked up, you'll definintly catch scabies. The best way to avoid trouble is to go fluffy in your bedroom until next month.

Category: Goofy
Birthdays Are Nice

Birthdays! Birthdays are nice. What, with the squirrels and cars, not to mention the birthday pillow that's almost a guarantee. Yes, everyone loves birthdays. Today was your birthday. And it was going to be beautiful. sexyAsianwhat'shisname came over, along with Julia and even Ryeowook. sexyAsianwhat'shisname was your crush; sweet, great, and positively sexy. When sexyAsianwhat'shisname walked in, holding a awesome box, you could feel your heart melt. But it was nice to see Julia, too. And the surprise appearance from Ryeowook was nice as well. Games were played and merriment was had by all. Your crush got you a bottle of HI-C juice, which was incredibly sweet; your friend got you a T-shirt, and that was also nice; and Ryeowook was nice enough to hook you up with a designer Leggings. Why, when sexyAsianwhat'shisname asked you out to go to SJ's Dorm Rooms that very same night, you felt as super as a Athena, and even the neighbors heard you shout. "ERH MERH GERHD"