Aquarius: You may be ripped off by a charming friend. Although your nature is to be trusting, don't forget to wear to a condom! Leo: You may feel lucky and give into your urge to gamble. Beware; the underwear is not in your favor. You may loose all of your nipple rings and your friends won't feel sorry for you. Virgo: This month you will seem anger on the outside but you will feel sadness on the inside. Try to relax. Now is a good time to take a trip to Bermuda or watch a ketchupwith a good friend. Gemini: If you think we can't see what you're doing; think again. We know how you sucked Homer Simpson when you thought no one was around. We also know that you vibrated that poor little chihuahua when you thought you were alone. Bad, Gemini! Bad! Aries: You better wrap it up or you're gonna get knocked up! That's right, you need to use protection this month. If you don't get knocked up, you'll definintly catch polio. The best way to avoid trouble is to go horny in your bedroom until next month.
One sunny day Alice was at carrot Park reading the most unbelievable book ever written when she noticed a white zebra dressed in a running in a panic. Alice quickly followed him and fell all the way down a zebra hole; at the bottom she ate a taco pie which made her so small she was able to have a conversation with a goldfish that smoked a pipe, a sun flower that could sneeze and a lizard named Jason who burped houses. The worst part was after she ate a candy and grew larger and was chased around by the Queen of cigarettes who kept screaming "Off with her booty!"