QuickLOLS
 


Category: Goofy

The strange man


Once upon a time there was a man named Jessica that touched 911 Peoples Eye in his lifetime, He was arrested on his 111 birthday for harassing a(an) Penguin they had to take him to a hospital first due to the Penguin ripping his entire Bladder off and bathing in a pool of Gasoline!

Category: Jobs
My Plastic Surgery

When I was just a young girl, I hated my legs and swore that when I was old enough I would get it fixed. For 2 years I saved up my allowance and the money I earned delivering cutters before school. By the time I was 4 I was old enough, and had enough money, to make my legs smaller and more short. When it finally healed, I looked beautiful. I was asked out on more dates and no one called me Elephant legs anymore. The next things I wanted to fix were my eyes. They were way too small! I was tired of wearing a training jeans and being called Flatty Fatty, so I enlarged my eyes and got lipo suction. Today I only weigh 10 pounds, and I have the face and figure of katrina kaif. Looks shouldn't matter, but I'm glad they do!