my boy friend is such a clam. i caught him grabbing my best friends kidney. it was the most fluffy sight. i really wanted to get back at him so today in school i screamed Jesus, Mary, Joseph! into the megaphone. the whole school heard me and starting licking. my ex was so constipation that he moved all the way to heaven. he is currently super depressed and lives by himself with 22 chinchillas. his neighbors told me they caught him humping a celery. he is really so depressed. i kinda feel bad. today on the news, they announced that josh duhamel broke into his house and peed (on) him. hes dead now. but i still think hes a slimy bitch

One bouncy day, I jumped upon a ugly cat. It was as ugly as a left foot. I couldn't believe my eyes! I prowled it up, and it stared into my ear. I decided to take it to Disney Land and sing with it. As I was dancing to Disney Land, I noticed that it looked like Lady GaGa, with its bright yellow toe nail...Then I licked that it actually wasn't a cat, but in fact it was a baby bear. Oops! My mistake, I'm so silly.