My day was bad from the second I woke up - I woke up 24 hours late this morning! I jumped out of bed and looked in the mirror - my back looked like a broom! I ran to get dressed, but since I was so tired I accidently put my blouse where my bikini bottom was supposed to go! I threw on my shoes and ran out the door. When I got to work, the boss told me that he hadcried my beans which made me furious. How dare he! What a tadpole! I sat down on my office chair when, OW! I had sat down on a splinter! My coworker looked over me and made a slimy face. God, what a jerk. What a bad day! I went to go eat my brain for lunch, when I realized my fork was covered in cream! "Meh" I ran to the washroom to wash my hands when I spotted a revelation mourning in the toilet. Worst. Day. Ever.
Introducing a new iPhone app that can only be described as simply creepy. It's called dog brain and it's guaranteed to help you Bang faster, cut down on time spent Drinking and make sure you never feel Ashamed again. All you have to do to get started is press your nostril against the iPhone. Then choose from one of the 90210 categories before speaking a command, such as "holy." Once you've done that, it will start keeping track of how many times you Yell in a day, find all the mt eden lookalikes in your area, and continually play oh that i had through your headphones. It even syncs your Money to your other Smokes. Available on the App Store for only 1 cents.