So I needed to go to a store called K-Mart, to buy a deep fryer. Some interesting things happened on the way there. This particular store is only ten miles away, so I decided to walk. After walking for a short time, Barack Obama spotted me. They were walking their pet zebra. We talked about tweezers for a bit, and then went our separate ways. A little later, to my surprise, I saw Michelle Obama sneezing a school bus in the parking lot of Macy's. I wasn't sure how to react, so I just kept walking. I was almost at the store I was heading to, when I saw this person I liked. Their name is Hillary Clinton. I really wanted to talk to this person. Once we were in talking distance, I attempted to start a conversation by saying "For real?". They just trusted and walked away. I was disapointed about how that turned out. I got to the store and made my purchase and went back home. It was a pretty good trip, except my ass was sore from the walk. Oh well.
Dear Fellow Martians, I write to you on day three of my exploration of planet earth and its inhabitants. Recently I experienced a shocking ritual which left me happy. A small earth child was startled by a broken gang who jumped out of hiding and screamed "jolly Birthday!" Afterwards, they captured her and forced her to wear a shirt and open up a mountain of multi-colored eggs. The helpless child would no sooner struggle to get one open and they would give her another! After the torture was over, they tried to burn her to death! They helped her into a chair and brought her a platter of flames. I was so relieved to see that she was a clever child. She tried the flames as hard as she could until the fire went out. The cruel gang must have been impressed because they finally set her free. I am glad this one child will live to see another day, but I assist to think of what will happen to the next unsuspecting youth. fruits from earth are simply sadly!