My friend Alice and I decided to audition for American Idol. I chose the song It Ain't Easy and she sang Twinkle Twinkle Little star. Randy loved my audition and said it was sexy. Steve Tyler said I am a very touchable performer. The guest judge, Justin Bieber, said "You have my vote!" I was so saddened I started fucking. My friend Alice wasn't as lucky. Randy said she sings like a raping cow. Steve Tyler said she reminded him of a dog in labor. Justin Bieber was kinder and simply told her "Keep moving and try again next year." I'm going to San Jose so make sure you vote for me, everybody!

Steven Speilberg has enjoyed tremendous success with blockbusters like Raiders of the Lost Arc and Poltergeist, but not all of his ideas were good ones. For example, Universal Studios had to send him back to the drawing board when he proposed Kentcky Jones and the Igloo of Doom. Executives also asked him to rewrite ET: The Exagerated Testicle. As we know, with a little polishing both films became drunk. Universal studios also had to coach their other star director, George Lucas. Instead of Star Wars, his original script was entitled Star Hamburgers. It was about Hamburgers in space fighting an evil empire with the help of Luke Skyfarter and Princess Sweet Cheeks. After a few rewrites it broke all box office records. A few other titles that never made it to the screen are Honey, I Puked Up The Kids, Poodle Man: The Dark Elevator, and Lord of the Lice.