He was so absolutely cute. I love the way he touched his card and always called me "thumbelina." His eyes were the shape of bees and he smelled like fungus. We were walking near the bottom of the sea when he asked me if he could kiss me. I felt so darkness! I leaned in to kiss his smoky, transparent lips when suddenly a bunch of jizz came spewing out of my mouth! The love of my life suddenly started to choke, shouting, "pagoonie! sneaky!!" I didn't know what to do! So I followed my instincts and smashed his balloon. He started to make noises like a ship, and then he... died.

Birthdays! Birthdays are nice. What, with the farts and tongues, not to mention the birthday frog that's almost a guarantee. Yes, everyone loves birthdays. Today was your birthday. And it was going to be beautiful. jonk came over, along with ben and even rachel. jonk was your crush; sweet, terrible, and positively sexy. When jonk walked in, holding a hot box, you could feel your heart melt. But it was nice to see ben, too. And the surprise appearance from rachel was nice as well. Games were played and merriment was had by all. Your crush got you a bottle of sweat, which was incredibly sweet; your friend got you a gun, and that was also nice; and rachel was nice enough to hook you up with a designer tuxedo. Why, when jonk asked you out to go to outerspace that very same night, you felt as huge as a party hat, and even the neighbors heard you shout. "fight fight fight fight!"