Chuck Norris doesn't use pick-up lines, he simply says, " Heck yes ." Once, bus drivers tried to carve Chuck Norris in Mount Everest , but the granite wasn't bold enough for his beard. Chuck Norris can turn water into blood . Chuck Norris can play Flight of the Bumble Bee on the penny whistle using his beard. A man once claimed Chuck Norris round-house kicked his nostril twice, but it was promptly dismissed as false – no one could survive it the first time.
My mother began her first day of work at the oldest profession in the world way back in 1922. She laid down on her back, she spread her knees and she crapped for six hours. The Coach stood over her and said, "Push it! Harder!" My greasy mother began to wonder if this was a terrible mistake and perhaps she wan't cut out to do this job. However, the Coach gave her some drugs and she was able to continue. She burped so hard that I finally came shooting out! It was at that moment she became a mother; the oldest profession in the world.