This little pig went to the Home. This little pig stayed in Kitchen. This little pig had Pizza. This little pig had Herpes. This little pig was Crazy and he "Wee, wee, wee, Crap!" All the way home.

First, find the freshest, most conservative Republican available. Hit it over the head with a dildo until it stops fucking. Once you get it home, preheat the pot. Crush some celery and saute it in the pre-heated pot with some shit oil. Next, add the Republican and brown on all sides. If the Republican gains consciousness, hit it once more with the dildo. Add a few cat milk leaves, some pepper and cover the pot. Let the Republican simmer until the meat falls off the bones. Next, lower the heat and add chopped onion, sliced cabbage, and pour in 9 cups of liquid nitrogen. Cover and simmer for another 5 minutes, or until the vegetables are thoroughly cooked. This recipe is best served over century eggs and eaten while watching Fox Network.