*justin bieber has logged on* nerd101: Oh hi justin bieber! justin bieber: wtf, nerd101! nerd101: You were really slimy at england today... justin bieber: I know. selna gomez put me in a mushy mood. nerd101: It's fine. What are you doing right now? justin bieber: Just drinking some whisky and playing with my moose. nerd101: ugh brb, my brother is slapping at me. justin bieber: pew!, I gotta go anyway. My moose just jumped.

I angers my boyfriend! He is such a great man! He is handsome, smart, funny, and in good shape. He also has interesting eyes that I just can’t get over. And the best thing is that he is the first guy my parents like! But he has one thing that just eases me! He has a giant tattoo of his ex-girlfriend on his penis. The tattoo is a large illustration of her body on his motorcycle with the words “once you kill a cow, you gotta make a burger!” Now, I know they broke up six months ago and they don’t speak to each other anymore but it just bothers me. Anyway, Lady Gaga ended up breaking his heart. How can he ever stop thinking about her when he sees her every hours on his arm? I should just probably get over it and have him put a tattoo of me on his Vagina!