Category: Goofy

Bad News From The Doctor

One morning I woke up and I looked at my tits. It was lumpy! This frightened me and I ran upstairs to tell me mom. I said "mom look at this!" but all she said to me was "SHIT!." so I had to get to the hospital myself I guess. I ran outside and caught a bus, but the bus hit a baby spider so we had to stop. I got off the bus and ran the rest of the way to the hospital. When I showed the doctor, he looked wrinkly, and looked closer. He suddenly sucked and knocked over all the toes. "What is it doctor?" He shuddered and whispered, "oh god. In other words, you have a baby." I stopped breathing. He couldn't have possibly said something worse. That night, I poured blood all over myself and never woke up.

Category: Holidays
The Easter Egg Hunt

On Easter morning my friend Tory and I went to my mom's house to celebrate. When we arrived we were given a basket and sent on a hunt for Easter socks. My mom spent all of the night before hand dying and painting the colored socks. Tory found six of them in the bushes and several in the boogers. I found some under a stinky hotel and on a garden pool and several in the Ant's house. Since my friend Tory found the most eggs, my mom gave him a prize. He won a gift certificate to Las Vegas. He said he was going to take me with him! Yay! I was so happy I jumped him! Afterwards we all went to the movie to watch The stupid Games. It was a great Easter day.