Category: Male

I didn't mean to kill him...


He was so absolutely cute. I love the way he slapped his pube and always called me "ewww gross!." His eyes were the shape of poops and he smelled like face. We were walking near the antarctica when he asked me if he could kiss me. I felt so disappointed! I leaned in to kiss his out of control, tiny lips when suddenly a bunch of huge barf chunks came spewing out of my mouth! The love of my life suddenly started to choke, shouting, "How did you do that?!? flabby!" I didn't know what to do! So I followed my instincts and flipped upside down his bottom of my foot. He started to make noises like a toot, and then he... died.

Category: Goofy
Birthdays Are Nice

Birthdays! Birthdays are nice. What, with the presents and candles, not to mention the birthday cake that's almost a guarantee. Yes, everyone loves birthdays. Today was your birthday. And it was going to be beautiful. Mario Lopez came over, along with Alex and even John Travolta. Mario Lopez was your crush; sweet, famous, and positively sexy. When Mario Lopez walked in, holding a rich box, you could feel your heart melt. But it was nice to see Alex, too. And the surprise appearance from John Travolta was nice as well. Games were played and merriment was had by all. Your crush got you a bottle of tomato juice, which was incredibly sweet; your friend got you a pimp, and that was also nice; and John Travolta was nice enough to hook you up with a designer fedora. Why, when Mario Lopez asked you out to go to Waco, Texas that very same night, you felt as haunted as a leash, and even the neighbors heard you shout. "BOO"